


The art of Forgivness

by pamymex3girl



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003), Doctor Who, Torchwood
Genre: F/M, Forgiveness, Time travell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-13 00:50:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/497551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pamymex3girl/pseuds/pamymex3girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack stumbled on a base star once, a long time ago, and on board he found Boomer. While Boomer attempts to come to terms with what she did and find a way to make amends Jack just tries to reach her. While on board of the same base star another Eight remembers memories that aren't hers. And far away in the future Athena attempts to put her broken family together again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank my artist SusanMarieR for not only her wonderful artwork but for reading over my story and pointing out the more glaring mistakes. I would also like to thank Karen for taking the time to beta read the story, even at such a late time. Thank you.
> 
> Battlestar Galactica AU: mayor changes are to the Boomer steals Hera storyline. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Battlestar Galactica, Torchwood and Doctor Who belong to their respective owners.
> 
> The artwork for this story can be found at this link: [Title, by Artist](http://archiveofourown.org/works/492830?view_adult=true)

_It happened a long time ago, it_ all _happened a long time ago, so long that sometimes she can barely remember it had been her life. It happened back when everything was still normal, when there was still earth beneath their feet and fresh air in their lungs, back when the world still mattered somehow, when their lives were normal, when the entire future still stretched out in front of them. When they still thought they had a_ choice.

_She’d asked him back then, if he could see a future for them, together. He had looked at her as if she was crazy, clearly wondering where_ that _thought had come from, and in truth Boomer was never sure. It had, after all, just been the beginning of their relationship. Who even knows if they could have made it work? So where had the question come from? He’d answered, he answered all of her questions, but she can’t remember_ what _he said and it didn’t matter anyway. She never figured out why she asked. If it had been just a normal conversation between a couple, or if it had been something else. Perhaps some part of her, the unknown part that was a Cylon, had known there wouldn’t be a future but had wondered if there_ could _be one._

_None of it mattered anymore anyway._

_He never really answered her, and she never asked again. It hadn’t mattered, not then, and before it could the world had gone to hell, and everything had changed. She likes to think of that moment, in the before, because they were still so normal. Just two people who had just started a journey together, and had many years before them. She likes to think of those two lovers who could imagine any future, except what actually came, because in the end who would have imagined that? Who would have ever thought the Cylons would come back to destroy everything? Who would have ever thought she wasn’t a person, just a thing?_

_She supposes that doesn’t matter anymore either._

_She was a Cylon now, a traitor; she could never go home to the place she had called home; because nobody would ever look at her the same again. Of course, the other eight, Athena, had taken her place, her life, and she, Boomer, could do nothing about it. She could never go back to what she and the Chief once had, to what they could have been because it had been lost, scattered over the winds of time. There is nothing left except a gunshot, a whispered ‘I love you’ and a scream._

_They were now, and would forever be, on opposite sides of a war. He’d had a choice, back then and later when he found out the whole truth, but she never had one. It had been stolen, along with everything she had, and she had never been able to recapture anything of what she had lost. Not her Cylon life from before she was Boomer, and not her Human life from when she was Sharon. (Perhaps that is why she insists on everyone calling her Boomer and not Sharon, or perhaps it was because the other one had her name and her life now.)_

_She runs through the hallways that had once been home, having taken her revenge and searching for the little girl. The bathroom floor is covered in cold water when he arrives in the room, staring at her thinking she is the other one, and she watches as the truth slowly settles._

_There’s a gunshot that shatters the silence and she watches as he falls almost in slow motion._

_The gun falls too, though she does not remember letting it go, and the blood mingles with the water._

_This is what is left of the life, the friends, and the love she once had._

_Her former lover, the one who walked away when it mattered the most, won’t make a sound, won’t understand what he has done until it’s too late. Her victim, once her best friend, screams once and then falls, though whether he screams in anger or surprise is something she’ll never know. The small child will cry for hours, but nobody can give her what she wants. Her sister, the one who stole her life, will beg for mercy or for something she has now lost._

_Boomer, the Cylon and Human, the traitor and friend, will scream too._

_But nobody will hear her, nobody will care._


	2. Chapter 1

Captain Jack Harkness, time agent from the 51st century, will be the first to admit that he’s had many problems in his life, mostly because somehow he has the tendency to get into the _strangest_ situations. Right now, for instance, six problems, that admittedly on their own probably wouldn’t mean that much, were conspiring to get him and his team mate killed. His own life doesn’t really matter in that equation – considering he can’t die which he still hasn’t figured out _how_ exactly that came to be – but Cassandra _could_ die here and if she does he’ll never forgive himself.

 _Technically,_ he supposes, it’s really one big problem but it’s easier to think of them as separate problems. 

His first problem is his teammate, not the one about to die beside him, but the other one, Isaac, the one that _still_ doesn’t listen to a word he says. Despite acknowledging that Jack actually knew what he was talking about, Isaac still has the tendency to do the exact opposite of what Jack asked him to do. Which at times was annoying but at other times, like right now, downright _dangerous._ His second problem, which is completely tied to the first one, is that Isaac, despite being a good friend, stands completely behind everything that Torchwood 1 stands for. While Jack has to admit that sometimes Torchwood makes sense, he simply can’t get behind an agency that shoots first and asks questions later or wants to kill the doctor.

If Isaac would just listen to him, even if he does not agree, they would not be in trouble, and problem three would simply _not exist._ But Isaac didn’t listen, and so they are in trouble. Jack simply knows that someday Isaac will trust and respect him enough to do what he says, and ask questions later. But that day, unfortunately, is not today. No today Isaac has somehow gotten them trapped in a small room – this, he thinks, must be what the inside of the Tardis _should_ look like, but thinking of the Doctor and Rose in any way hurts too much. Besides, he doesn’t have time for this. The only thing that matters right now is that they are trapped and there’s no escape. The only thing they can do is wait until Isaac figures it out, which he usually does.

The problem isn’t that they were trapped; Jack has been trapped in smaller spaces – and in stranger places – so being trapped doesn’t matter so much. What does matter, problem number four, is they are going to run out of air – which, considering Cassandra is panicking and hyperventilating, will probably be sooner rather than later. _Note to self: always remember that Cassandra is claustrophobic._ There were moments, like right now, that Jack wished he could choose _when_ to stop breathing; he can come back later, but Cassandra can’t and if he could choose he’d stop so she’d have more air. But he can’t, the whole immortality thing still confuses him, and besides it might make her panic _more._

_“Alright, guys, I think I found the right switch. Hang on.”_

Isaac must have switched the switch but nothing happened, the doors remained closed and for a moment Jack thought _‘well at least he didn’t make it worse.’_ Which he probably shouldn’t have done because now things _would_ get worse, but he’s not sure _how._

The fifth problem, as he lies to think of it, is simply the conclusion of their other problems. They’re trapped in a small space, running out of air and their only hope has just done something wrong, which may or may not have made everything worse. The conclusion: they might actually die here, which for him isn’t so bad but for Cassandra that would be disastrous.

But Isaac comes through, finally, and the wall on their right disappears, which in the end is problem number six and quite possibly the biggest problem of all. Now they are inside a spaceship without knowing _who_ it belongs to, or even if anyone was on it. He looks around the hallway of the ship to figure out if he’s ever seen a ship like this before, but it’s unlike any he has ever seen, and he has seen quite a few.

No, this is their biggest problem: trapped on a strange spaceship, with no way out and no way to contact Isaac … and without any weapons.

They are definitely going to die here (perhaps dying on that satellite had made him a bit pessimistic.)

***

She supposes it feels like floating, though not _exactly,_ it is however the closest she can get to describing the feeling of being boxed in and it’s the word she’ll use if somebody ever asks. Not that anybody _will_ ever ask her, the ones who would care, because it could happen to them, would be too afraid of the answer and everybody else simply wouldn’t care.  But even if they were to ask and she would take the time to attempt to explain it she wouldn’t be able to, because there are no words to explain this feeling. ‘Floating’ will simply have to do.

She can remember everything, even the things she shouldn’t remember, and the memories that weren’t hers to remember. She remembers them as she lies in the silence waiting, for what she’s not sure, perhaps for somebody to remember her, or somebody to accidently set her free. The memories, though not hers, are all she has now, and she spends her time going through them one by one.

Despite knowing it all, despite remembering it all, she _knows_ she is not Athena or Boomer.

Their memories are in her head, their accomplishments and failures – though her intention, when she downloaded them, had only been to get Athena’s – but she’s not _them._ She is her own person, another eight, another Sharon and she wants to make her own memories, find her own redemption, and find her own true love. But she hasn’t, and as long as she’s lying here in this state, she never will. She only has the memories of her sister who found it all.

They’re comforting, the memories of a love so strong that managed to survive it all, and in the silence their voices accompany her. Helo isn’t hers, has never been, has never loved her the way he loved _his Sharon,_ and she knows he never would have looked at her (he had, somehow, always been able to tell his wife apart from all the others which was something that D’Anna never managed to figure out).

She never would have taken him from her sister but in the silence she remembers. And she never forgets.

_On the 16 th day after the colonization of what would become known as New Caprica – after the first batch of humans has gone down and declared it habitable – Helo does not show up for his visit. Sharon alone in her cell with all her pain did not care, at least not at first. The first time he does not come she does not truly realize, having made it into an art to ignore him, and she spends all her time like every other day, staring at the ceiling of the cell she calls home. All she remembers, all she cares about, are the few moments she had with her tiny baby girl. Hera, her daughter, the one she had loved and they had killed. She does not think of anything else – not even of the fact that Helo too had loved her, and had been alone when scattering her ashes. _

_She hadn’t even looked at him since their fight after their return from Caprica. Despite that his words still echo in her head_ ‘I love you! And I'm not giving up this frakkin' easy! Not after everything!’ _She wants to forget his words, wants to forget the sincerity in them, and wants to forget that he’s probably the only one on this ship that cares about her. She doesn’t care, at least she pretends she doesn’t care, and the grief is so overwhelming that for now she can actually convince him. Maybe someday he really won’t come back, which the part of her that loves him admits is probably the best for him._

_At first when he came, he talked a lot, picked up the phone and talked to her, begged her to listen to him, to make him understand. He’d scream through the glass trying to reach her, but she just lay there ignoring everything he said. After a while there was just silence, and first she thought he might not come anymore. But he was still there, leaning against the glass that separates them, waiting silently until she’s ready. She loves him and hates him at the same time, loves the space he is giving her that everything he does is for her but she hates, hates he can’t just leave her behind, and live his life. His pain is as real as hers, she knows, and because of that she cannot look at him. She’s too afraid of seeing her own pain reflected back at her._

_He comes every day at the same time, without fail and she knows he’s never late and never not there – except for those horrible few days he was on the Pegasus and they almost executed him. But his pain is as real as hers and there is a lot to do, especially on New Caprica, perhaps he will come back the next day. She doesn’t really pay much attention to his disappearance until the next day comes around and she finds herself staring at the clock watching as the time of his visit comes and goes and he is still not there._

_A part of her feels vindicated, like he’s finally gotten her silent message, like he can go off and live his life and forget she was ever there – forget they ever existed. The days pass, but he does not return, and every second that passes she grows more and more worried._

_Sharon lies staring at the ceiling, waiting and hoping that he will come today._

_Sometimes she looks up, staring at the clock, willing it to go faster, yet not wanting it to at the same time. She doesn’t look at the door, not wanting to see the marines guarding her staring back at her. She could ask them what is happening, but she doesn’t know if they’ll answer or even if they’ll tell her the truth, so she just waits. She’d told him to leave, to never return, to go to New Caprica and build a new life and apparently he has done so, but she had not really wanted him to leave._

_The door opens suddenly and for a moment she is tempted to look, but she does not, she’s learned the time schedule of the marines and knows it is time for a shift change; he has not come, not yet._

_The first thing she hears is a voice, softly speaking to the marine and then the sound of footsteps and someone leaning against the glass. She saw him, from the corner of her eye, and in one moment she took it all in, the black eye, the broken arm, the limping. She’s up and across the room before she realizes she has moved, determined to find out what has happened, but for once she wasn’t fast enough. He wasn’t expecting her to move, wasn’t expecting her to talk to him, so he leans against the glass, with his back to her and his eyes closed. She places her hand against the glass, wishing she could reach out and touch him, will him to turn around, but she cannot._

_She whispers his name, softly first, then louder until he hears and he turns then and looks at her with the same love in his eyes he has always shown her._

_“I thought you weren’t coming back, I thought you’d really left.”_

_“Never, I told you, I would never give up on you, on us, not after everything we went through.”_

_“What happened? Helo, you look horrible.”_

_He places his hand against the glass and leans his head against it, as well, as she does the same, the closest they have been in weeks, the closest they will be for the time to come. Just inches apart, but it might have been more for all it mattered, they could not reach through the glass, and they might never be able to reach each other again. He tells the tale and like always they only have eyes for each other; neither hears the marine pass, neither hears the door open. They do hear the brisk voice of the marine._

_“Five minutes.”_

_They look up then to find the marine standing next to the open cell door, obviously having taken pity on them. She is faster, always has been and always will be, but Helo is not far behind her, moving towards the door, leaving the phones dangling on the cords. The marine doesn’t move, making it obvious she can’t come out, but he can go in. They hold each other as if their lives depend on it, having not touched each other since the loss of their child, and Sharon cries as the pain of everything suddenly comes crashing down upon them. They have lost what matters the most, their daughter, but they have each other and despite it all Helo will not walk away._

_The five minutes pass and they have not moved, still holding each other standing in the door of the cell she calls home and the marine, despite what he said before, can’t bring himself to break them up._

She remembers that moment as if it’s hers to remember, as if she had been the one lying in the jail cell worried that he would not come back for her. Helo always returned for her, her sister eight, but nobody would come to save her.

***

He’s first to recover from their ‘almost dying’, which is not so strange since to him it _means_ nothing, but to Cassandra it might have meant everything. He’s not sure whether he actually makes sense, but he stopped trying to make sense a long time ago – right around the time he attempted to explain the nuisances of time travel to someone who barely believed in its existence – so he doesn’t really care. He should perhaps first check on Cassandra, who was still lying on the ground attempting to catch her breath, but they were on a strange spaceship, and they needed to find out whether they were _alone._

He stands, faster than he probably should have, and not for the first time he wishes he still had his sonic gun. But he left it inside his jacket, which, unless they threw his stuff away, should still be lying on his bed in the Tardis. But now is definitely not the time to think about them and he doesn’t have his gun, so there’s no point in thinking about what he would do if he did have his gun.

The silence is complete, and he’s almost forgotten that Cassandra is still on the floor, when she suddenly grabs his arm and pulls herself up (using his strength to hold herself up). He can tell, despite the darkness, she is still shaking – from fear or the fact that she’s out of breath, he can’t quite tell – and for a moment he is tempted to tell her to lie down again. But she’s standing and they _don’t have time,_ so he lets it go.

For a moment he is reminded of those few months they’d spent, just the two of them, down in the dungeons of Torchwood. She had used him for strength then, too, and she had been just as determined then to stand beside him as she is now. And he is just as determined now, as he was then, to protect her from all the evil in the world.  

He thinks suddenly that if he follows the walls, he might find some kind of light switch or something, so he reaches out to the wall just a few centimeters from him. Which turns out to be a very bad idea indeed, because the wall is made out of some gooey stuff, which is definitely not good, and makes him jump back in surprise – which is a big problem, because Cassandra is still using him to stand, and the ground is wet and slippery, and before he knows it, they’re lying on the ground again. With the exception that he’s laying against the gooey wall – the last time he found a ship with that sort of wall it turned out to be the children of the aliens – and whatever they just did, he never does find out, it was the _right_ thing.

Somehow, God knows how, they’ve managed to find the right spot on the wall, because the lights flicker on and the door opens and Isaac is standing there staring at them.

Perhaps their luck is changing.

*****

 

She wakes gasping, fighting for air, like she has done so many times before.

For a moment, a second, she thinks it’s still her first regeneration, she’s still disoriented enough not to _quite_ remember everything, so she can pretend. Pretend that she’s just woken up, that she’s just been shot by somebody she had once called friend, just looked into the Chief’s eyes for the last time, that this is still the beginning. Because if it is, then everything still has to happen, then she can still change what happened (or will happen) on New Caprica and beyond, somehow find a way to change her life.

But then she’s awake, truly, gasping for air, looking around for somebody – because there’s always _somebody_ – and she finds only darkness.

And then she remembers, she knows, she knows what happened, what she has done. There are no do-overs, she can’t do her life over again and change what happened. Even for Cylons, who could die and come back again, there were no do-overs.

_She can feel the gun in her hand as she points it at him; his scream as he falls and the crying of the child penetrates the silence._

She’s alone, there’s nobody left, somehow she has been awakened, though she’s not sure how that happened, either. Then she hears them, voices, whoever it is that has woken her up doesn’t seem to be afraid of her – two male voices arguing about something she doesn’t understand – and why would they be? She’s alone, her sisters long gone. Even if they were here, they wouldn’t stand by her side, and the others are still asleep. There are no centurions left to protect her, so why should they be afraid of her?

She wishes she could go back, but she can’t, there’s nothing she can do.

Not even get out of the tub.

 _“But if she dies now,”_ she whispers “ _she dies forever. Let them come, let them come and kill her.”_

****

You would think, really you would, that getting your teammates stuck inside a small room and _almost killing them_ would make you see sense. But apparently Isaac is the kind of person who just never learns. They should investigate the spaceship, they should find out if whoever is on it is dangerous, and then go back home. But he’s tired and Cassandra is still shivering and _everything_ in him screams that she should be helped first.

_“Look, Isaac, you’re right, we can’t just leave a spaceship here in the open, especially not when the door is open and everything could just get out. But we have no weapons, no torches; we have nothing, so investigating right now seems stupid.”_

_“Torchwood gives us a job and we have to check out the entire ship, Jack.”_

He’s not sure how long they have been arguing about this, nor exactly how many times they have repeated the same arguments, but eventually Cassandra interrupts them.

_“Guys! Look, it doesn’t matter, we’re already inside, we might as well check it out.”_

_“Fine, Isaac goes to the left. Cassandra, you come with me.”_

Isaac is gone before Jack can say anything about being careful, like he has done so many times before. He’s tired of all the fighting, of always having to make sure that Isaac does what he wants. He reminds him, Jack realizes, of himself, a younger time agent just at the beginning of his career – or even at the beginning of his travels with the Doctor. Perhaps this is what the Doctor felt whenever he decided to say something. They turn to the right and end up in a big open room with some kind of strange equipment in the middle. Then they hear Isaac call their names.


	3. Chapter 2

_“Welcome to the second meeting of the book club. This time we’re reading…”_

_Sharon laughs softly as Helo launches into a long explanation of their book, before he turns it open to chapter one and starts reading. She holds the phone up to her right ear as she listens to his soothing voice. Somehow Helo, even on the darkest of days, has this way of making everything seem alright, of making the world turn right again. Her left hand rests on her belly and she can feel her baby kick, and not for the first time, she wishes that Helo could feel it as well, but he’s not allowed inside her cell and she’s definitely not allowed outside and so far he hasn’t been able to be there when she goes to Doctor Cottle for her checkups – she thinks that Adama might be doing that on purpose, but she’s not sure._

_When she first got here, Adama had given them fifteen minutes a day._

_It had not been nearly enough. They had needed more time together, more time to love. But they hadn’t been in a position to negotiate and so they had just taken their time. But time had passed, and somewhere Adama had relaxed the rules, giving Helo more time – though she’s not quite sure if it isn’t just that the marines don’t tell them their time is up. They seem more human now, and they’ve been that way since after the Pegasus affair. She thinks that perhaps they’ve begun to see her as a woman, but she’s not sure. Last week Helo arrived with some book Adama loaned him which he had yet to read. He’d thought it would be fun to read it together; he couldn’t give her the copy because it was Adama’s, but he’d taken to reading to her._

_She found it soothing, his voice, and she loved just listening to him talk, or read in this case. He hadn’t brought the book up in the last week, mostly because he hadn’t been able to stay long the last few days, but here they were again. She can see, in the corner of her eye, that the marine is listening as well, which is strange but she doesn’t think about him._

_When he leaves, because he always leaves he’s not a part of her world, he’s free; she lies down and closes her eyes, recalling his voice, his words, as she falls asleep._

_It’s as peaceful as she gets until they can be together again and he can hold her in his arms._

****

She hears him scream before she truly realizes he’s there; he’d shown up suddenly, coming out of the doorway that led – if she recalls it correctly – to the hallway that led outside. She didn’t recognize him, but, on its own that didn’t have to mean anything. She sits staring at him until he says something. She’s too tired of everything, of the pain and the betrayal, and she feels too guilty to do anything but stare. She won’t fight; if they’re here to kill her, they won’t find a problem, she’ll let them do it without a fight.

She wonders, briefly, if this is her punishment for what she did to Athena, to Helo, to the Chief.

The first one must have called their names, because two more appear, running, ready for action, as if they are expecting a monster. They’re staring at her; all three of them, but none of them walk towards her. They don’t look particularly dangerous, so perhaps they are not here to kill her. The girl in particular looks like she needs a doctor of some sort, and the second guy – who’s smiling at her in a way she could remember the Chief smiling at her – appears to be angry with the first guy.

_“Alright, Isaac, first rule, never yell unless you’re under attack. We thought you were in danger.”_

_“Well, how else was I supposed to tell you what was going on? It’s not like your communication system is working.”_

_“At least it looks like we found what we were looking for. Cassandra, perhaps you should help her out of that tub.”_

_“Maybe she shouldn’t. What if she’s dangerous?”_

_“Oh, come on, Isaac, and Jack, you; too, don’t look at me that way. She doesn’t look dangerous. I’ll be fine.”_

She, the girl who still doesn’t even have a name, at least none that she has heard, walks towards her and Boomer – in the tub all alone – can think of at least a dozen ways she can hurt her. She won’t, because it’s futile, and she doesn’t think she wants to, either; sometimes she wishes she had been able to figure out what she wanted before everything went to hell, but she hadn’t and there is nothing she can do about it.  So she lets her come closer, and when she holds out her hand Boomer takes it – the last time a human hand touched hers it had been the Chief and she had betrayed him, betrayed them all – stepping out of the tub.

The boys turn away from her suddenly and she remembers that she’s still naked, but none of her siblings had ever cared, so therefore neither does she. She sinks down next to the tub, remembering that once her sister stood where the new girl stands now, watching over her as she recovered from her resurrection. She stares ahead, praying to forget, to erase everything from her mind.  

But she’s a Cylon, with a perfect memory, and she could never forget.

 

***

They’d turned from her, to give her some privacy, and walked a few steps back – having come to the conclusion that she wasn’t dangerous. Or at least Isaac seemed convinced. Jack had seen the most harmless looking of aliens become the most deadly, but there was no need to scare his team mates, not about something that might not happen.

_“We should warn Torchwood one, tell them what we found and we should bring her to the hub.”_

_“Yeah, you go back to the car and send out a message, then see how close you can bring the car and bring another gun with you, will you? Just in case.”_

_“Sure.”_

For one moment, they were actually on the same page, which so far hadn’t happened that much, and Isaac walked to the door, which had somehow closed again, and jumped back as it opened automatically. He follows him outside almost on autopilot and waits. He watches in silence as Isaac makes his way across the dark fields, he hates – has _always_ hated and will probably _always_ hate – sending a member of his team off alone, especially not knowing what exactly is going on, but they need help from Torchwood and they need it now. So despite his reservations, he sent him off alone, watching in silence as he disappeared into the darkness. He waited a while longer, after he disappeared, to make sure Isaac didn’t want to turn back for some reason, but he never came.

The door of the spaceship opens automatically and for the life of him he can’t figure out _how_ it does that. It is something he will have to investigate later, after they have made sure the ship is in fact _safe._

He walks through the ship towards the only lit room, which is one of the only reasons he actually manages to find the room again, seeing as everything is basically _the same._ He’s not afraid, he is, after all, Captain Jack Harkness, and there is not much that scares him. In fact the only things that scare him at the moment are Daleks, but that is, of course, another tale. The ship was different, unlike any other ship he had ever seen, and walking through it was a strange experience.

He finds Cassandra still leaning against the wall staring at the woman sitting in the middle of the room.

At first glance, it seemed like neither had actually moved, yet at closer examination he realized that at least the new woman must have, because she was now, unlike before, wearing clothes. Clothes that appeared to be very old, as if they had been lying around for centuries, yet too new at the same time; they looked like the sort of clothes Rose would have bought in the early 21st century. He’s not sure what to do, she appears to be harmless – he would say actually she appears to be in shock – but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

He can’t figure out _what_ she is. She is not human, of that he is sure, but he’s never seen someone like her. She looks human, she feels human, yet she is _not;_ if he hadn’t seen so much of the universe she might have been able to fool him, but as it was she hadn’t. It doesn’t matter. He knows a beautiful woman when he sees one and she definitely is a very beautiful woman. He kneels in front of her, far enough away from her in case she is violent.

_“I’m Captain Jack Harkness. What is your name?”_

She doesn’t answer, doesn’t respond; in fact, the only reason he’s even sure she heard him is because her eyes are watching him. Haunted eyes, filled with centuries worth of pain, yet strangely young at the same time.

“ _Where did you come from? Where are your friends? It is alright, I’m not going to hurt you, and I want to help you. Tell me your name.”_

_“I don’t have a name.”_

_‘What do you mean? Everyone has a name.’_

_“Names are for persons, for humans. I’m not human, I am nothing.”_

He leaned forward then, unable to stand an obviously hurt young woman, and touched her shoulder very softly. She didn’t flinch away from him, nor did she move towards him – he’d never actually experienced something like this before, mostly women just fell at his feet – so he moved closer until he was sitting next to her, his hand still on her shoulder.

_“I don’t know what happened to you, but I assure you everything will be alright. I don’t know what you are, but you are a person, you may not be human, but you are a person. What is your name? Surely they must have called you something.”_

She looks at him suddenly as if noticing for the first time that he is actually there.

_“Before, they called me Eight, but there were many of us. Then they called me Sharon, but that was a long time ago. It is her name now, she’s earned it. They also called me Boomer.”_

_“Alright, Boomer, everything is alright.”_

She looks at him sadly, obviously not believing him, and he wonders how many people have promised her that it will all be alright. What happened to her that she did not believe she was a person? She was not human, that much he could tell, but he had known all kind of aliens that were more human than actual humans, so that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. He hears the car pull up outside and realizes that Isaac returned sooner than he thought he would.

_“Come on, we’re taking you out of here and to our hub, our headquarters, so to speak. There we can make sure you are alright and perhaps find out where you came from so you can go home. Is there anyone else here?”_

_“No, at least not anyone that’s awake. There’s no one else.”_

She’s not dangerous, she’s lost and scared, and he wants to do nothing else but protect her, hold her in his arms, but he can’t. She’s obviously on a spaceship that crashed far from where she belongs and if he can convince him to tell him everything, perhaps he can help her – he has no intention of handing her to Torchwood one, not if all they’re going to do is place her inside a cell and run tests on her, like they once did with him.

He’ll protect her and get her back to where she belongs, but first they must go.

So he stands and holds out his hand and she takes it after only a brief hesitation.


	4. Chapter 3

The car ride back had been silent, though getting her _in_ the car had been quite the event.

He had been right about one thing, whoever or whatever she was, she wasn’t from around here and she had definitely never been to earth before, at least not recently. She looked at the car as if she saw it for the first time, yet knew more about technology then all of them combined. He let Cassandra do all the talking in the car, thinking that a girl might be able to penetrate her defenses, and she had gotten a few answers, but nothing that told them _anything._

She told them a lot and nothing at the same time, like the way she had told them her name.

Boomer wasn’t a name, or at least not here, a nickname perhaps, and he remembers that she said that her name had once been Sharon. He wonders what she means by that, everyone always has the same name – except that then he remembers that he’s had a dozen names and that the only reason he keeps this name is that he’s afraid the Doctor and Rose won’t find him if he changes his name – so that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. What caught his attention had been the ‘it’s her name now’, as if it had once been her but she had given it away. Who is ‘her,’ he wonders, who is this person that was more deserving of her name? And why did she say that she had been ‘eight’ once? Who calls their children by numbers?

He asks none of these questions, concerned that if he goes too fast she’ll shut down again.

_“What did you tell Torchwood one?”_

_“I told them what we found; they said they’ll take care of the space ship. But they’ll leave the girl up to us, so I said we would question her and find out where she came from.”_

_“Good. When we get to the hub I want you to go home. Remember you have that mission tomorrow. Are you sure you don’t want somebody to come with you?”_

_“I’m a big boy, Jack; I can take care of myself. Besides Cassandra looks like she’s going to get the flu and somebody has to interrogate our guest.”_

_“Alright, just be careful and keep your cell with you, just in case.”_

_“Okay.”_

 

****

_“What about Jane?”_

_“No, I knew a Jane in school, not a very nice person. I don’t want to be reminded of her in any way.”_

_“Alright, what about Charlotte?”_

_They’ve been at this for a while now, she’s not sure how long, and she can see that even the marine is laughing at all the names they’ve thrown around – from serious to downright silly – and they’ve each come up with nothing. Sharon knows that she’ll know what the right name is the second she hears it, but so far nothing has come out of it. She can tell that Helo is having fun and she is forcibly reminded of the fact that he hasn’t been a part of the pregnancy, he’s been on the outside looking in, unable to reach her, to feel the baby kick. He has nothing but these moments and she wants to drag it out as long as she can; besides she hasn’t thought of a name yet._

_“What about Kara?”_

_“Oh, absolutely not, there is no way we’re calling our daughter Kara. She might be my best friend, but she’s completely insane. I do not want her as a role model for our daughter.”_

_She laughs softly; at least she agrees with him on this. At first they thought about calling their daughter Sharon, but Helo had rightfully reasoned that he already knew two Sharons and that was confusing enough. Not to mention the fact that her line, the eights, is known to the entire crew as ‘the Sharons’, which was way too many Sharons already._

_“What about Hera?”_

_“You mean like your Goddess?”_

_She closes her eyes, and for the first time feels some sort of anger towards Helo. She understands that he doesn’t believe what she believes, and she respects what he believes for now; someday she will teach him the truth. But she had expected, had hoped, that he would respect what she believed and not offer these sorts of names up, even if he probably meant well._

_“No, like my mother.”_

_She smiles at the realization that he probably hadn’t realized what it would mean and yet, despite it’s possible implications, it sounds right, their little Hera._

_“Like your mother. Hera Agathon.”_

***

She remembers driving in something like this on Caprica, except she’s not sure whether it ever really happened. Some of her memories are real, but the majority is a fiction, a tale spun by other Cylons to make her believe in her humanity. She _might_ have driven in one, though it wasn’t exactly the same as this one, much more modern, but she’s not _sure._ Boomer remembers the days on the Galactica with more precision; she knows everything – even the things she wishes she didn’t know – but even those memories bring her no comfort. There had been no cars on New Caprica, nothing worth mentioning, really.

She wishes she could project and forget, if only for a few hours, what she did to get here.

But she’s not sure what she should project and she doesn’t know if it would work. The last time she resurrected, it had taken some time for her to be able to project, but that might have been because she didn’t know she could. Still, even if she could, she’s not sure what she would project; the house she so loved is tainted by the memories of her sins. Even her memories of the before – before she knew what she was – are tainted by what happened after and to go further in the before – before she even knew Boomer would ever exist – was something she had never done, though the memories were, in fact, there.

She wishes she could go back to when the world still made sense, to when she was just Sharon and no Cylons had attacked, to when she could smile and mean it, to the days without _guilt._

Jack is not what she expected; she has – ever since the discovery of her ‘true’ nature – expected the worst of people and they had, as of yet, not disappointed her. Jack, however, was different, she could tell. While the other two seemed wary of her (and really who wouldn’t be?), he was calm, as if it had all happened to him before. He kept looking at her and smiling, starting conversations about little things – the other man, Isaac, Jack called him– kept eyeing her with suspicion, like the Chief would do after he found out, expecting her to attack them, but Jack seemed oblivious to it all.

He was determined, it seemed, to keep up the pretense of normality and she wondered what needed to happen for him to be rattled? What had he seen in his life that her waking up in a bathtub seemed normal, almost?

He was handsome, too, she had to admit, and chivalrous. He’d held the door of her car open and offered her his office to sleep in instead of a cell – though he may just be attempting to make sure she didn’t make a run for it. The last time somebody held a door open for her, or even offered her something without an ulterior motive had been in the _before –_ Helo used to hold doors open for her, the Chief never did, but Helo used to do it. She wonders if he would still do that for her or if all his chivalry was now for the other Sharon. But then she remembers that she _shot him_ and he’s probably dead now and there’s nothing left of what he once was and what he could have been.

She stares at the ceiling, counting the new tiles, trying not to remember _what_ she had and _how_ she lost it.

She doesn’t sleep; she hasn’t really slept since she shot Adama.

‘ _Where,’_ she thinks suddenly, ‘ _did the rest of humanity and the Cylons go? Are they here now?’_

***

 

_He loves to watch her sleep, loves to watch as her breathing evens out and she succumbs to sleep. Before they found the Pegasus, she slept easily, closed her eyes in confidence that nothing would ever happen to her, that no matter what, Adama would never allow anyone to harm her. But then the Pegasus had been found and they had come in to violate her and sometimes, in his nightmares, he can still see her lying on the ground, crying, covered in a grey blanket. Now she doesn’t sleep so easily, despite still being sure that Adama won’t hurt her like that – she’s now convinced that the President murdered their daughter and he kind of agrees with her on that point, but she’s equally convinced that Adama had nothing to do with it. But he can still remember the cold look in his eyes as he told him they would terminate the pregnancy, and he’s not so sure Adama wouldn’t be a part of it. But she needs to believe in somebody besides him, and right now that’s Admiral Adama._

_But she doesn’t sleep when he isn’t there, at least not peacefully._

_There’s a couch in her cell now – he almost called it her room and really that’s what it’s become, her room, which really makes their life kind of pathetic – and he’s not sure where it came from, but he’s grateful it’s there. After Adama had gotten over his initial anger over her lies about Cavil he’d allowed Helo to visit her more and even enter her cell. She’d fall asleep in his arms, but he’d have to wake her up when he left and he didn’t like waking her up because she looked so peaceful when she slept. He used to sit on the floor watching her, but now he can sit on the couch, now they can both sit on that couch; they can talk and touch each other, they can laugh, she can curl up beside him._

_They can pretend now, sitting on that couch, that they’re normal, at least for a few hours._

_He wonders if there will ever come a time that they’re not pretending._


	5. Chapter 4

She hadn’t slept, he was quite sure of that, not because she looked tired – in fact she looked pretty much the same as she did before, in shock and sad but definitely not tired – but because he had walked past his office a few times and seen she was still awake. He didn’t call her out on it, nor did he think it was strange; he barely sleeps himself (which has more to do with the nightmares) and he knows for a fact the Doctor didn’t really sleep either. Perhaps her species, whatever it is, doesn’t need to sleep. He still hasn’t figured out what she is, exactly. She’s not human, though she looks human, but there are so many different species in the universe that she could be anything, and unless she tells him, he probably won’t figure it out. And if he doesn’t, he won’t be able to send her home, won’t be able to make sure she gets back to where she belongs, she’ll have to stay here with him. Keeping her doesn’t seem like such a bad thing, but she might want to go home, and if she does he won’t stop her.

He knows what it’s like to be trapped somewhere you don’t belong, and if he can find her a way out of here, he will.

_“Good morning, Boomer, did you sleep well?”_

She looks at him like she sees him for the first time and he wonders if perhaps she can read his thoughts or something.

_“I’m fine. How are you, Captain Jack?”_

_“I’m good. I’d like to talk to you, ask you some questions. See if we can figure out how to get you home.”_

She looks away from him almost as soon as he says it and he swears there are tears in her eyes. Perhaps, he thinks, there is no home to get back to, perhaps her planet, like the Doctor’s, has been destroyed. Perhaps her family, her friends, are dead, perhaps she doesn’t even know.  There’s something else, too, he realizes, in the way she addressed him. He’s used to people calling him Captain, but not even in the army had they managed to call him that with so much respect. It’s almost as if to her it means more than his name, like she’s beneath him and he deserves her respect.

Military, he thinks, from whatever species she is or world she is from, she was in the military.

***

She can hear almost everything, the beating of her heart and sometimes even footsteps, though that might just be wishful thinking. Before she’d been boxed in, though she’s not sure if that was the idea or simply a mistake, she thought that it was like sleeping, that you didn’t realize it was happening to you. She was wrong, so wrong, and she – the other Sharon – realizes that someday she’ll know the memories by heart and they won’t bring her that much comfort anymore.

She’s not even sure how long she’s been here, though she does remember how she got here.

_She’d heard the alarm blazing trough the ship and realized, not for the first time, that humans reacted quite fast. Still they all seemed at a loss as to what was going on, since all the alarms normally came with a message from the Admiral telling them what was happening. The last time that didn’t happen, there had been a mutiny, but that didn’t seem to be the case. And then she saw her, out of the corner of her eye, an eight that could only be Boomer; Boomer who was supposed to be in a cell awaiting her judgment and punishment, not running around freely through the ship._

_That must be what the alarm is about. Boomer has escaped and the Admiral doesn’t want to call it out over the intercom because the humans won’t be able to tell the difference between all the eights – only Athena in her colonial uniform stands out. She runs after her but loses her quite quickly, only to find her in a different part of the ship, and for a moment she wonders when Boomer changed her clothes, but that’s probably her way to get her hands on the child._

_She must save the child, not just because it is the child, but because in the hands of Cavil, she will most likely die._

_“Boomer, don’t.”_

_“Sister, go away, go back to the others, pretend you didn’t see me. Please.”_

_“But I did see you, I saw you running past me on the lower deck.”_

_“I didn’t run past the lower deck.”_

_“Don’t lie to me, Boomer, I know you’re scared. And I don’t know what Cavil has promised you, but this isn’t the way. You’ll be punished, but it doesn’t mean the end. Return the child, nobody needs to know. You haven’t done anything yet.”_

_The child is strangely silent; Boomer had expected her to cry_ _more. If she had seen the eight before, she might have believed her, but Helo was bleeding out somewhere and it was all over already._

_“No, it’s too late. You’re not going to go away, are you?”_

_“Give me the child.”_

_‘I’m sorry, I really am.”_

_There had been no time to react. Boomer had lifted the gun and shot her; at least Sharon eight should be grateful that Boomer had seen to it she’d die instantly and not bleed out slowly._

There had been nothing but darkness after that and then suddenly Cavil’s voice and then she’d been here, trapped in between and she’s not sure _how_ it happened but it did. And now she was here, remembering waiting, wondering if Boomer had made it off the ship or if perhaps somebody had managed to stop her. Wondering if the child had been saved or if she had died in Cavil’s care, she wonders what Boomer was thinking, to stand against all those that loved her.

Perhaps that was the problem, not that they stood by her but that it was too late, by the time they all realized she needed them, it had been too late.

Boomer had killed her; of this there was no doubt, but she wonders who had killed Sharon Valerii? Who had killed the woman that defended the humans and called herself one of them on Caprica? Who had killed the woman that had done everything in her power to help the humans on New Caprica? Had it been the humans when they shunned her? Or had it been them when they didn’t understand how much it hurt her to find out she hadn’t been human?

When had they gone wrong? And why did nobody see it?

****

He wanted to help her get home. It wasn’t a ruse or a lie; he wasn’t trying to trick her into telling him everything only to throw her into the dungeons later. No, he was telling the truth, he wanted to help her find a way back home, wanted to make sure she got back to where she belonged. He didn’t realize, didn’t know, that there was nothing to go back to, nothing for him to do. That no matter what he did, he couldn’t change the past, couldn’t change the things that had been done to her, the things she had done.

The Galactica was not, if it even still existed, a home anymore, not a place she was welcome. Not since she shot the Admiral, despite it not being her fault, and definitely not after shooting Helo. Even the Cylons, who’d welcomed her with open arms the first time she woke up, wouldn’t give her a home, not after what she had done. There was nothing to return to, nobody waiting for her.

_“I don’t have a home, Captain.”_

_“Everybody has a home, Boomer; everybody has somebody that’s waiting for them. And you can just call me Jack.”_

_“You said you had questions for me Capt… Jack”_

It was a strange feeling, calling a superior officer – because that’s what he would be – by his name. On the Galactica, the way she remembered it, one never called them by names, only by call signs or sir, sometimes by their last names, but never their first. _Except for the Chief, he’d called her Sharon when they were alone together, but that was so long ago, she supposes it doesn’t really matter anymore._

_“A couple, mostly about where you came from and how you got here, if you could just explain it to me, I promise everything will be alright.”_

_“I don’t even know where here is.”_

_“You’re in England, on Earth.”_

_“Earth, you mean it really exists? I thought it was just a myth, a story the admiral made up to give us hope, to keep us going. I didn’t think it was actually out there, much less that I would find it. Maybe if I had believed there was an ending to it all I wouldn’t have…”_

_“Wouldn’t have what?”_

_“It doesn’t matter, not anymore.”_

_“Well, whatever you meant, I assure the Earth is real. Where did you come from?”_

_“I’m not sure. The humans, the ones that were left after the colonies were destroyed, came from Caprica, the twelve colonies. But where I came from? I thought I came from Troy, that I was born, that I had a mother and a father and a family once, before they died when Tory was destroyed. But it was all lies. I don’t know where I came from, probably a base star; according to Ellen she and the others of the final five created us. It doesn’t matter.”_

_“So you don’t know where you’re from? Where did the humans that were left go after their homes were destroyed?’_

_“No, I don’t where I’m from. Most of the humans didn’t make it off Caprica. The irony is I actually managed to save some, probably the last humans that left Caprica – not counting Helo and that small group that went with Sam, though since he also was one of us, I don’t suppose he counts. The humans that were left were the ones that were already on ships, the ones that could just jump away. I called the Galactica, our ship, home once, but that was before I discovered the truth.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“That I’m not human, I don’t exist, and I’m not real. I’m just a thing.”_

_“Everything is real, Boomer, you may not be a human, but that doesn’t mean you’re not real. I’ve known other species that are different, yes, but it doesn’t make them any less real. If not a human, what are you?”_

_“I’m a Cylon. One of many, an eight, to be precise. They didn’t even give us names.”_

He’s not sure what he should say or even do, he’s never actually been in a position like this before. He’s met many aliens over his travels, but never one that talked like this. Besides, he’s never heard of Cylons before; he’s heard of Cyborgs but not of Cylons, perhaps they’re the same thing, perhaps not.  She’s looking down and he’s not sure whether she is crying or she’s simply too afraid of looking at him. He’s never been able to stand a woman crying or anybody thinking they are less simply for being different.

He crouches in front of her, still sitting on his couch, and holds her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him.

_‘I don’t care what you are or where you came from. You are a person, perhaps not a human, but a person. You are real and you deserve to exist. You’re not a thing.’_

His hands feel comforting as he stares at her, willing her to believe, but she’s heard for so long that she isn’t real that she doesn’t believe him. Though a part of her, for the first time in years, wants to believe him, because he says it with such passion and belief that maybe she should. But he doesn’t know everything, doesn’t know what the Cylons did; if he did he would lock her in a cell and walk away, forget she was ever there.

_“You don’t know everything yet.”_

_“Then tell me everything, where you came from, what happened and how I can help you.”_

_“Nobody can help me.”_

_“Tell me anyway.”_

_“The cylons were created by man, they’re humanity’s children, and they were created to be slaves. Then they rebelled and after the fighting, an armistice was reached…’”_

_****_

_“Sharon, will you marry me?”_

_It was a Friday after most of the crew had already gone down to New Caprica, after Helo had been promoted to XO. She was barely even a prisoner anymore; she was still in her cell, but apart from that, she felt freer then she had done before. Even the marines that were supposed to guard her had the tendency to leave once Helo arrived, and they even left the door open now. Despite all that, she hadn’t thought they’d gotten this far yet, that they had managed to get the Admiral to trust them, trust her. But evidently they had, because here he was on one knee, kneeling in front of her, asking her to marry him, and the Admiral_ had _to know because he was the only one who could marry them, at least on the Galactica._

_“Of course.”_

_He laughs and puts the ring on her finger before holding her and kissing her like there is no tomorrow. And she laughs, truly, for the first time in a long time. She’s happy, happier than she ever thought she could be, and even though the gaping wound of her daughter’s death had yet to fully heal, she could now see a future. They had a future now, something to look forward to, a marriage and perhaps freedom. Adama would marry them and who cared if she only had one person to really invite?_

_They would be fine now._

**  
**


	6. Chapter 5

Her story, the one that had taken a few hours to tell, was definitely not a fairy tale; it had even made Cassandra cry at one point – which is definitely strange because Cassandra hadn’t even cried when she was locked in the dungeons of Torchwood one. He thought his life had been bad, and compared to most humans it had been, but the lives of the humans and Cylons in Boomer’s story were definitely worse.

_“Then the humans and the rebel Cylons reached some kind of truce.”_

_“This was after you had already left them and were living with the other Cylons?”_

_“Yes, they left to find Earth and the identity of the final five together. I’m not sure if they ever found Earth.”_

_“You did.”_

_“It was an accident; I did not even know I had found it, until you told me.”_

_“Okay, you never saw them again? You never returned to the Galactica or tried to contact your sisters? Perhaps they are here now and you can try to make peace.”_

She turns away from him, trying to find a way to tell him the truth. He and his friend had been very interested in the story, feeling sorry for pretty much everybody, from Cylons to humans, but if she told them the ending – _a shot in the dark, Helo falls bleeding to the ground, Hera cries for her mother, the other eight falls to the ground pretty much like Helo did –_ then they will turn away from her. But the Cylons could not be contacted and Helo and the others were definitely dead, so why should she tell him the truth?

“ _No, I never saw them again. For all I know they’re still flying out there in the sky, in the universe. I was with Cavil when I died, I’m not sure how, and then I woke up when you opened the ship.”_

She’s lying about something, though he’s not sure about what exactly, but he figures it doesn’t really matter. After all, he lies all the time, lies about his immortality to those that don’t know him, lies about where he comes from, lies about his close friendship with the Doctor – at least he thinks it was close, there is no way he could have dreamed that, could he have?

_“It’s okay, it doesn’t matter. If they’re here we’ll find them, and if they’re not, you can stay here.”_

The sincerity in his words was undeniable. She didn’t want to go back, but at the same time she couldn’t stay. If she did, she knew that she would hurt him because machines do not feel, machines only exist. 

She should go, before it’s too late, but instead she finds herself leaning closer to the Captain. Surely a few days wouldn’t matter?   
  


****

He’d lied when he told Jack he would go off to do his job, though not really. He was planning on going to check that other ship out, but first he had to do his job for Torchwood. He’s not sure why Jack is so against everything they stand for, but there is no time to argue about this. It is abundantly clear that Jack will not give Boomer up without a fight, so Isaac didn’t tell them about her, instead he told them about the ship. Which is why he’s here now with another team to find a way to get the ship to London where it could be examined, and perhaps there were others like ‘Boomer’ on that ship.

The door still opened automatically, which is something Isaac would like to figure out.

As soon as he steps in side and leans against the wall, the lights flicker on and he wonders if that is the way not only to turn the ship on, but to wake somebody up. Perhaps there are more bathtubs inside this ship; more people being awakaned from what he supposes are sleeps.

_“Alright, Team Alpha, go to the left and check that side out, Team Beta, come with me.”_

He’s not sure what to make of the ship; really, it almost, strangely enough, seems _alive_. They walk through the ship, determined to not get hurt, when they find what looks like a sort of human inside a bathtub. This one, unlike the other one, doesn’t look human, and when Isaac bends down to touch her she suddenly wakes gasping and starts spouting of sentences – that may or may not have something to do with him – and just as soon as she’s awake she’s dead again and he’s left standing, trying to slow his racing heart.

_“What the hell was that?”_

_“I don’t know, Isaac, but we should keep an eye out for more. Perhaps not touching anything would be a better idea.”_

_“Yes sir, sorry sir, I just didn’t expect that!”_

_“I don’t think anybody would, but this one is definitely dead now, so let’s see if there’s somebody we can ask questions.”_

They walk on, slower than before, more aware of their surroundings and Isaac wonders suddenly if it hadn’t been a better idea to bring Jack. He might be against Torchwood’s principles, sometimes at least, but he knew a lot about spaceships and probably would have known what to do next.

Maybe in the future he should think about listening to him.

 

****

_Somehow the stars seemed brighter, though that might simply have something to do with the fact that it was her first night out since they left Kobol. Or perhaps she had simply forgotten what the stars looked like, despite the cloud blocking their view. She still can’t believe Helo had actually managed to convince Adama and the president that they, too, deserved a night out. The marines were still with them, of course, and they weren’t near the other humans, though she could still make out the flames of their fires. But still, they were out, breathing in fresh air, and they were together – they couldn’t ask for more._

_“I can’t believe we’re out here.”_

_“I know. When Adama and the president agreed, I was so sure it was some kind of sick joke.”_

_“Why did Gaius do it? Did he tell you?”_

_“He said he still owed me for saving his life on Caprica, since I’d given up my seat to him and all. I can’t believe he remembers that, though maybe it’s just because it’s the reason he got off Caprica.”_

_“Maybe somebody reminded him. It doesn’t matter. I’m glad we’re here, together.”_

_“Me, too.”_

_“I love you, Helo.”_

_“I love you t…”_

She wakes suddenly gasping for air; air she hasn’t breathed in a year, trying to figure out where she was and what exactly had just happened. She had died and been resurrected before, so she knew _how_ it felt, and like always, she felt a little disoriented, it took a few minutes to remember everything. Normally, it went faster, but under normal circumstances her brothers and sisters would be sitting around her, helping her as she calmed down and _remembered._

After she calmed down, which took a few minutes, she realized that the base ship was basically a ruin, completely destroyed. She’s not sure where she is, but the footsteps and the voices she hears definitely do not belong to her family, they could belong to the humans, but she’s not sure. Shaking, still reeling from suddenly being awakened, she stands wrapping the towel, that thankfully still lay in the same spot, around her. Slowly, determined not to make a sound, she makes her way across the ship to where the clothes were stowed and got dressed.

She left the base star behind her, quickly making her way across the field, not even checking to see if anyone else had woken up.

She was alive and free, and she would be damned if she didn’t focus on it.

***

She’d never seen Jack act like this, though she hadn’t known him that long; perhaps he had acted like this once, but that was before her time. He’d always been strong, this she knew, determined to help those around him, especially the ones that needed protecting. Like her in the Torchwood dungeons or Boomer now with her past. But she’d never seen him act like this, she’d seen him flirt with girls and boys alike, but she’d never seen him fall _in love._ It was definitely interesting, to say the least.

_“So you don’t know where everybody is.”_

_“No, and even if I did, I don’t think I’d want to go back, to be one of many again. I’d like to see your world, if that’s alright.”_

Before Jack could even answer Cassandra had already agreed, and somehow turned it into some sort of date (definitely a woman thing.)

_“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?”_

_“Jack she just wants to see the town and I’m pretty sure you could take her in a fight. She doesn’t look particularly strong.”_

_“All right, but don’t go anywhere alone, no matter what.”_

_“Of course. Have fun.”_

Cassandra, a seer who could have predicted things that wouldn’t happen for centuries, could never have predicted something like this. That her friend and boss would fall in love with a girl that woke up in bath of goo – well, not even her grandmother (who had predicted the fall of Troy) could have predicted _that._

But Jack and the girl, if even a fraction of her story was the truth, deserved some happiness.

And she would ensure they got it.

****

She hadn’t really expected it to take this long before she managed to find some living soul, but then again, she had still to figure out where exactly she was. It definitely wasn’t Caprica or New Caprica, which was the last livable planet she remembered – she remembers that they had found Earth, but it had not been habitable and that Adama had promised everyone they would find a home. Perhaps this was it, this world, clearly habitable with humans (or at least human lookalikes) living on it. But that didn’t mean she had managed to figure out where exactly she was. So she kept walking, in the hope of running into someone.

_“What about your family? Your parents, where are they?”_

The voice unmistakably belonged to an eight, there was no chance she couldn’t recognize it, as it was, in fact, her voice. There was, however, no way of knowing which one of her sisters it was without seeing her, so she sped up, following the voices as a male voice started a tale of a world far away.

And there she was, after so much time, Boomer, staring straight at her.

The other guy beside her, cute, definitely, and ready to protect Boomer, seemed at a loss what do to with somebody that was obviously family. The last time she saw Boomer, her sister had been holding a small child and was taking it away from home; the last thing she remembers is Boomer shooting her. A part of her, perhaps the biggest part, wanted to wring her sister’s neck or shoot her – should she be able to get her hands on a gun – but another part of her wondered if perhaps that wasn’t the _wrong decision._

Isn’t that, she wondered, how they had gotten here in the first place? If they hadn’t started the same war yet again, would their lives perhaps have been better? If she and the other eights had reacted to Boomer’s pain better, would she have stood by them instead of against them?

Maybe now was the time to let go of the past and make a new future.

****

Jack had shown her the entire city, which for a girl who had once lived on Caprica wasn’t exactly what you would call exciting. But it had been fun, just to walk around in the open air, sure that nobody would try to kill or harm her, safe by the side of a guy she shouldn’t like as much as she did. She’d taken to asking him questions about his life and childhood, since you know he’d heard all about hers. He was spinning tales about his childhood and she wasn’t sure if she believed any of them. The one thing she did realize, before he ended his tale, was that somehow he didn’t belong here, and yet he did.

Everything was going fine, which was perhaps why things started going wrong.

Of all the eights she could have run into, the eight now standing in front of her was one of the worst, only outdone by one – and Athena was crying over the death of her husband and the loss of her child. But this was another Eight, another sister, the one who tried to stop her, and the one she killed. She’d spend her time trying to figure out how she had managed to resurrect, but then she didn’t understand how she had done it either.

“ _Boomer, I never expected to find you.”_

There was no anger or hatred in her voice, which took Boomer by surprise, but not so much as her next words.

“ _Perhaps you could show me this world, sister, and find me a place in it.”_

 And when she held out her hands, Boomer could do nothing but run into her sister’s arms and embrace a new life.


	7. Chapter 6

_It had all been Cavil’s idea, which really wasn’t that weird, the other number ones didn’t seem to have anything to say anymore, which might be strange, but not to them. Boomer sometimes wondered if it had always been like this or if just the second war with humanity had started this. She could probably remember what the before was like, but she’d never really tried; upon her first resurrection back on Caprica, she had gotten all her memories and knowledge back, but she’d never tried to remember the before. She was too afraid to have to sift through her memories of being human and the people she had betrayed or of forgetting who she had been if she tried to remember the before. So perhaps Cavil had always been in charge and perhaps everyone had always done what he wanted._

_It didn’t matter either way; the point was that the entire plan was Cavil’s idea. She herself wasn’t sure that it would work; a part of her was completely sure that Adama would have her killed on the spot and if not him, definitely the Cylons. Still, his entire plan banked on the fact that the Chief, having discovered that he, too, was a Cylon, might want to make amends with her. He was also banking everything on her not walking away from this, on her not seeing what she once had and wanting it back. She didn’t want it back, but there was no way he could know that, for all he knows she wanted to go back._

_She would never go back to the people who had not only betrayed her, but replaced her with the first eight that passed by._

_Still she hadn’t been prepared for what she would feel when he did show up; any love she had for him might have lessened over time, but it hadn’t disappeared, not completely. To find him standing there, lost and begging for forgiveness, she felt sorry for him, felt the need to protect him. She could, after all, remember how she felt when she found out she was a Cylon. How alone she had felt, how abandoned, and then Cally had come out of nowhere to shoot her, not knowing she could, in fact, come back._

_She had forgiven Cally, when they were on New Caprica, and she had meant it, she had understood_ her.

 _The Chief was a Cylon, and she wondered briefly what Cally made of that, and he was free, walking among other Cylons on the ship she had called home. With the people she had called her family, people that had once upon a time loved_ her, _not Athena or any of the other eights. And she was still locked up, still treated like the enemy, not forgiven for any of the actions that hadn’t even been hers._

_What was so different about them? Why were the final five just allowed to walk across the ship? Even the other Sharon, the one who had taken her place, had spent a long time locked in this cell. She had worked for her freedom and though Boomer hated her for taking her place she had to admit she had earned it. But what had the other five paid? The other Cylons she could understand, they had not been part of the fleet, and they were just using their first chance. But what was so important about them? Why were they just left to walk freely? Why were they so much better than the rest of them?_

_She hadn’t known when Cavil told her what to do if she could actually do it, betray her family again – this time fully knowing what she was doing. But the sight of the Chief – just like her, a colonial officer who had just discovered he was a Cylon – walking around without any consequences made up her mind._

_A long time ago they had turned their back on her. On Lieutenant Sharon Valerii , who had loved them so much, on a crying, screaming little girl who had begged for help and mercy, yet not received any; they hadn’t cared then, had turned away from her when she needed them the most._

_Now Boomer, all that was left of her, will turn her back on them. They’ll get what they deserve._

_***_

_Tricking the Chief had been easy, the love he still felt for her was clearly written on his face – and she wondered briefly if he felt the same way when he looked at Athena – and for a moment she felt guilty for tricking him. But she dismissed the thought almost instantly. He had created her, after all, he had made sure she was here to suffer all her heartaches, and now he would have to live with the consequences of his creation. They would all have to live with it._

_Even walking through the ship, calmly, like she still belonged – for a moment it almost felt like she did. Nobody sneered at her, nobody laughed, it almost felt like she was Sharon, colonial officer, come home. But it wasn’t. They didn’t know, after all; if they did, they would haul her off towards her doom and all their planning, hers and Cavil’s, would have been for nothing. But nobody notices and nobody cares. Even finding Athena had in the end been easy; she was, after all,  the only eight in a colonial outfit._

_(Briefly she registers the fact that the crew is very small, making her wonder just how many of the people she had once known are now dead.)_

_And there she was, washing up, staring into the mirror, wearing the suit that should have belonged to her. This Sharon had stolen her life; wormed her way into the hearts of all the ones she had once loved and had loved her, and made a better life out of it. She wonders if she could have done it, but she thinks Adama would have had her killed – the only reason he didn’t kill this Sharon was most likely her pregnancy._

_“I hope you’re here to fix the pipes because…Boomer!”_

_The fight was short, it was most likely a good thing she had managed to catch Athena by surprise or they would have had a big fight and she would have been back in her cell before the hour was over. This was all still part of Cavil’s plan; the next part wasn’t._

_She hadn’t been expecting Helo. In fact she hadn’t been expecting anyone, though not really understanding why it seemed as though the crew was cut in half and most were probably at work. But Helo wasn’t and he was suddenly standing there in the doorway, looking at her with a pensive look. She hadn’t expected to ever see him again and she could still clearly remember how it felt leaving him standing there on Caprica, knowing she would never see him again. She remembers the feeling of joy she felt and had to hide when D’Anna informed her that Helo had survived and gone back to the Galactica, with another Sharon._

_“Hey, I need to go, my shift’s about to start.”_

_She doesn’t look at him as she races past him, determined to forget that for years this had been her closest friend – he had another Sharon to love now, another Sharon to care about. In his life she no longer mattered._

_“Did you bring Hera to the daycare?”_

_“Yeah, I dropped her off just a little while ago, just like we agreed. I really need to go.”_

_“Just one more thing. Where’s my wife, Boomer?”_

_***_

_A long time ago, when they’d been trapped on board that base star, D’Anna had asked him if he could differentiate between the eights. “No”, he’d told her, “I can’t, but I can tell when one of them isn’t my wife.” “How?” “I don’t know.” She’d gone on to ask him if he thought any of the eights could convince the crew they were Athena, to which he’d responded truthfully that the only eight that could probably do it would be Boomer, because she would not only know about the procedures, she’d know the people, too._

_He hadn’t expected to be proven right, though he should really not be surprised._

_He’d heard they caught Boomer and locked her in the cell that had once been his Sharon’s home, and he’d felt sorry for her. Athena might be his wife and the woman he loved, but Boomer had been his best friend for years before that. He did not love her but he did care about her. He’d let her go, if he could just figure out where his wife is; if it is freedom she wants, he doesn’t know why she shouldn’t get it. All the other Cylons had gotten it, after all, why not Boomer as, well?_

_“I’m your wife, honey.”_

_“Boomer, I know my wife. Where did you get that uniform?”_

_“From your wife, of course, she’s trying to help me, trying to make sure I don’t die. She felt guilty for stealing my life.”_

_“She didn’t steal your life, you left nothing to steal. The only thing you left were your sins, for which she paid. Boomer, what do you want?”_

_He’d taken a step towards her in an attempt to calm her down, instead, he found himself staring at the barrel of a gun. Still, he wasn’t worried; this was Boomer the girl who couldn’t land a raptor if her life depended on it, the last girl of Troy, the girl who’d never shot anybody – except the Admiral, of course – she wouldn’t shoot him._

_“Stay where you are. Don’t come any closer. Your wife is fine and she will remain fine as long as you get out of my way and let me get the chi… my freedom.”_

_“You want Hera? What would you want with…? Cavil wants Hera, to test her, to find out why she exists and no other Cylon child does.”_

_It wasn’t a question and she knew it, which is why no answer came. Instead came the realization that this wasn’t the girl he had spent hours with, this wasn’t the girl who’d cried when she’d left him on Caprica; that girl had probably died when Cally shot her. This was a Cylon, bent on revenge, with one sole purpose: getting his daughter. She shouldn’t have let him know, because the only thing he would protect more than his wife was Hera, and he made a step forward to fight her, to stop her, or at least scream for help._

_There was no time for either, no time for any talking, anymore either. She too had realized he would never let her pass. She was going to kill him, she was going to kill him and steal his daughter and nobody would know until it was too late._

_A shot broke the silence, quickly followed by a second one, and he fell backwards._

_The last thing he hears is the alarm blazing and then nothing._

_***_

She wakes gasping from the nightmare, the memory that haunts her always. She’d _killed_ him, the one man who would be willing to help her, she’d shot him. She tried to calm herself and remember that she was far away, somewhere else; in the arms of a man she was falling in love with. Jack hadn’t even stirred, but then again, she was a Cylon, she could be silent if she wanted to.

Maybe she hadn’t killed him, maybe he’d survived, but then she remembered the way he fell and the blood that had drenched his shirt. But the alarm had blazed so suddenly and perhaps somebody had made it in time to save him – she wonders who’d sounded the alarm, there had been a few weird things going on that day – but she doesn’t think anybody really saved him.

It’s too late now, anyway, to change anything. Perhaps a new life in the arms of Jack was the answer.

She had to forget. Nobody would forgive her, there was nobody left to do so.


	8. Chapter 7

When he found Boomer so many years ago, he’d never imagined their lives would turn out like this. Somewhere in her entire explanation about the Cylon race – which as he recalls had taken her several weeks –she’d told him that Cylons don’t exactly age the same way everybody else does. He’d been grateful for that, because if she didn’t, they could stay together forever – Boomer could still die though, so they had to be careful – but they could have a life, _he_ could have a life. But despite all his dreams, he’d never expected her to _stay,_ not for all those years anyway.

Maybe Cassandra had come closest when she said that love could transcend anything.

They were dead now – Cassandra and Isaac – dead for many years now. Isaac had died first, not long after finding Boomer; he’d gone and ignored him again and his own stubbornness had been the end of him. He’d cried for him, for the friend who couldn’t listen, and prayed that he would never encounter another one like him – and then they gave him _Owen._ Cassandra hadn’t died young; she’d grown old and died an old woman in her bed, just like he’d once promised her she would. He’d gather many other people around him over the years, but over time he’d stopped telling them anything about him. What was the point of making such friends only to lose them?

Besides, he was almost there, almost at the time to meet his two best friends again, almost at the time when he could prove to Boomer she was a _person._ She still didn’t completely believe him, but he just knew the Doctor could convince her. (The doctor alone though; Rose had died at Torchwood one a long time ago, something he had discovered many months ago and that had left him in the grip of a depression which only Boomer managed to lift him out of.)

Still, for Boomer to stay beyond everything his team put her through – Owen didn’t trust or like her, Tosh was on the fence, Gwen wanted to know how she got here and Ianto didn’t like her. They wanted to know where she came from, where he came from, but for some reason they trusted him more then they trusted her. Perhaps it had something to do with him being the boss – which meant in their minds that Torchwood one knew everything about him – and the fact that Boomer wasn’t even officially Torchwood. Technically, she still didn’t exist; it was easier that way. The other Eight – the other Sharon, Boomer called her – lived with Boomer and they’d hit a rough patch when the team met her.

They’d had no choice but to call them twins, but he had seen the distrust in Owen’s eyes. Sometimes that guy reminded him so much of Isaac. Still, that wasn’t their problem; right now their problem was the rift that was acting up.

With his luck they’d open it and an army of Daleks would fly out of it.

***

It was Adama that was standing in front of her, except that it wasn’t really him, because if it was, he would never have come here alone.  Still, she’s caught by surprise and just stares at him, stares at the man she had loved so much, stared at the man she had shot, at the one person who might have been able to save Sharon Valerii, but had never gotten the change. _Cally had stolen her chance and by doing so gave it to Athena._ She’s not sure what’s going on, but it can’t be good.

“ _Sharon, help me.”_

_“Help you do what, Admiral, Sir.”_

_“I’m trapped beyond the rift, we’re all trapped, the humans and your family. Help us, save us, open the rift and save us.”_

She’d believed him because she wanted to and for the first time ended up on the same side as Owen.

Which really should have shown her how _stupid_ the plan was.

****

She’d seen him die before, and come back, as well; it hadn’t freaked her out that much. She was a Cylon; she knew about dying and coming back, though not in the same body. Still, she figured the principle was the same. It wasn’t without pain and he had to do it all alone. He’d told her once that he didn’t know how he got to be this way, that the Doctor would explain it to him, but he hadn’t been able to find him yet. Still, despite knowing that he could come back, she was just as shocked as everyone else that Owen shot him. One shot in the head, clear, shooting a superior.

She’s reminded of the moment she shot Adama, two shots, she’d never actually been able to recall the actual shooting, which according to one of her sister eights had been because it was part of her sleeper program. Still, she knew she had done it, had come to terms with it, but she hadn’t shot him in the head – which is a thought that apparently never occurred to anyone, she could have just killed him, but she fought that and had ended up giving him a fighting chance. The blue light shines up and instantly she knows it hadn’t been Adama, she’s probably known the entire time, but she had _wanted_ to believe it was him, wanted to believe he could forgive her and ask her for help. She hears Jack gasp for breath and she knows he’s back, knows they now have a fighting chance. She sits by his side after it’s all over, she knows he’ll come back, she just doesn’t know _when._

He doesn’t blame them, after he wakes, tells them the rift was too strong to fight, it wasn’t their fault.

Boomer had once, when she was Sharon, attempted to fight something that was stronger than her; she’d lost then. But that was a force inside her, something that was a part of her, if she had _known_ she could have fought it, but she didn’t, that after all had been the whole point.

They’d never expected her to feel something for the humans; she was just a machine – one of many – after all.

****

_They’d gotten married on a Sunday, though she’s not sure why. The Galactica was practically empty when she was led towards Adama’s quarters. The marines would stay outside, not a part of the ceremony, and she’s not sure who will be there besides the three of them. She’d send an invitation to Felix, but she’s not sure if he will come and the Chief probably didn’t want to see a woman who looked like the woman he once loved marry someone else._

_She was caught by surprise by the people inside the Admiral’s quarters, more than she had ever expected, even if it wasn’t that many. Helo, of course, she couldn’t marry him without him there, and the Admiral. Felix smiling at her from the left side, far from the others, she realized, and Kara and Sam were sitting next to the admiral. A woman, later identified as Racetrack, was sitting there as well. The Chief was probably the biggest surprise._

_She was glad they came, proof they cared for them, but all she really needed was Helo._

_She’d treasure the memory of their wedding forever, even if she hadn’t been wearing a white dress – Boomer had only had a blue dress._

_It was still perfect._


	9. Chapter 8

**Three weeks later**

_“They’re here, Boomer, I saw them.”_

She’d never expected they would one day show up. She thought they’d ended up on a different planet, not a different time, but it appeared as if the colonials and the Cylon fleet had just made it to this Earth. About a hundred years after she did, she’d wonder about this; but it’s not like it mattered. That had been two weeks ago, Sharon Eight had shown up suddenly, talking a million miles an hour, explaining to her that she’d seen sixes and members of the colonial fleet. Boomer knew that Sharon Eight wanted to get back to her sisters, wanted somebody to help her, but a hundred years pretending to be twins had brought them closer together and she had come to warn her first.

They’d come up with a plan together, a plan to save Hera and perhaps find forgiveness, or at least closure. The plan itself had been born many years ago, when Jack had explained time travel and had shown them his watch that used to be able to help him jump through time; it didn’t work anymore, he’d said. But Boomer knew machines, she was one, and she would find a way to make it work. All they had to do was figure out where the fleet had been e _xactly_ and then she would use the watch to jump back. The only part that troubled her was that she had to lie to Jack, trick him, even, because she needed to be on board off a base star to find a way back towards the colonial fleet to save Hera. Sharon Eight had told her that perhaps she should just tell him, but she couldn’t, because then she would have to explain why she’d lied about the ending of her story and why she’d never told him.

_“I guess it’s time to put our plan into action. We need to find a base star and we need to find out where Athena is.”_

_“Are you sure you don’t want to tell Jack?”_

_“Definitely. Perhaps when it’s all done, but right now we just need to find a way to get back.”_

_****_

It had been just a week after Boomer had escaped, after she’d heard the blazing of the alarm and she had been found by Kara. After she’d been told her husband had been shot and probably wouldn’t live and her daughter had been kidnapped. The final five - four, because in her eyes the Chief didn’t count anymore - had passed by and told her they would find her, but Athena had lived among them when they had not. Cavil would dissect her, he would kill her, and she’d never get her daughter back. And it looked like she was going to lose her husband, as well.

Cottle had told her, in his typical way, that her husband would probably never wake up again.

She hadn’t moved since then, sitting in the chair next to his bed, praying, hoping. She was in shock and pain and ,what was perhaps worse, she was alone. Helo had seen through Boomer’s deception and it had almost cost him his life, and it still might. Nobody said anything about her staying here, nobody told her to get back to her job; there were other eights now, after all.

But it had been a week after Boomer escaped that they came, quite accidently, upon Earth (another than the one they had been looking for, but close enough). The humans here, from some kind of organization called U.N.I.T., had been kind enough to listen to their tale and then had, somehow, managed to find them lives on the planet. Scattered over continents, the human and Cylon fleet didn’t exist anymore. She had stayed in London with Helo, sitting in his hospital room, never really leaving. She had no daughter, stolen from her for the second time, and she had no husband. But Helo had fought for her when she hadn’t been able to see the light; he deserved no less from her.

So she’d sit there, holding his hand, talking about times long since gone.

_“Do you remember my first night out of that cell…?”_

_It was after they’d left New Caprica behind them, after she’d saved the human race. The Admiral had given her her reward, her colonial status and her freedom. But she hadn’t really been able to believe it; neither had Helo for that matter. They’d been so scared that first night, scared the Admiral would change his mind and marines would march into their room in the middle of the night to drag her off to her cell, or worse, an airlock. Convinced that someone would get inside and harm her or even him, you could never know._

_They hadn’t slept that first night, snuggling close together, holding each other and practically jumping at every sound. It had not been a great first night, nor a second night; it had taken more than a week to finally accept that nobody would drag her away at night. Still, whenever somebody knocked on their door in the middle of the night, they’d still jump, convinced that the dream was over._

***

Boomer was hiding something from him, he wasn’t sure _what,_ but he’d known her for more than a hundred years and he knew she was hiding something. She’d never wanted to talk about whatever, or whoever, the Rift had shown her, and he hadn’t wanted to push. But now he wonders if he shouldn’t have done just that, pushed her to tell him instead of holding his silence and allowing her to hold hers. Whatever was going on the other Sharon, Sharon Eight, was involved. They thought he couldn’t tell the way they’d talk in whispers, but he just didn’t want to push her. He’d always known she’d lied to him, always known she’d hidden something from him about her past, but he hadn’t cared.

He’d hidden some pretty big things, as well.

He was about to say something, his curiosity getting the better of him, when he heard the unmistakable sound of the Tardis fading in (or out) and he couldn’t wait. He’d jumped up, grateful his team wasn’t there, and ran out. Boomer would follow him, always follow him. And there it was, after so many years, the Tardis in all its glory.

_“Is that it? The Tardis? The way your friend the Doctor travels through time and space?_

_“Yes that’s it. Come on, I want you to meet him.”_

He ran towards the doors, grateful they were unlocked, as attempting to find his key would have taken ages, and they’d fallen through the doors.

_“It’s bigger on the inside. How is that possible?”_

_“I’m not sure, it just is. Doctor! Are you in here?!”_

He didn’t look the same, which is what he had not been expecting – he’d been expecting a northern accent, a leather jacket and big ears – but instead, he’d gotten a new version. A shocked version who wasn’t expecting him, and definitely still in the business of collecting pretty women as his companions, because a red haired woman came in after him.

“ _How the hell did they get in here?”_

_***_

He hadn’t been expecting the Captain, in fact he’d never expected to see him again or, in better words, had hoped he would never have to see him again, never have to explain to him why he’d been abandoned all those years ago. Mostly because the guilt had been eating at him, and no matter how many times he’d convinced himself that Jack was fine, he’d never really been able to. But here was the proof, in the flesh, so to speak, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk to him. So he focused on her instead, beautiful – this was the Captain, after all, what else could she be? - but _different._ She didn’t belong, he could tell, and he wanted to figure her out, because she was interesting.

“ _Captain, long time no see, kind of missed you around here, sometimes at least. Who’s the girl?”_

_“Nice to see you too Doctor, thanks for abandoning me. This is Boomer.”_

_“Boomer? That’s not exactly a name.”_

_“Excuse me did I go invisible all of the sudden? I’m Donna. Donna Noble. For those that care.’”_

Donna was definitely something else. After they had gotten the initial conversation out of the way – mostly about the abandoning and the fact that Rose was, in fact, alive – Jack had moved to get to know Donna better. Which he was regretting now, sort of, and he was kind of glad it was a new Doctor now, because the old Doctor, his first Doctor, definitely wouldn’t have been able to live with Donna.

He likes this new Doctor, he’s kind of cheeky, but he’d _loved_ the old Doctor.

****

_“Hey, Doc, I was wondering…”_

_“No ,don’t call me that, Captain. What do you need?”_

_“For you to talk to Boomer. She’s from a planet far away that has been destroyed and she’s been separated from the rest of her species. She’s a cylon, which as far as I understand is basically a cyborg, except they don’t look like robots, I don’t really understand. Anyway, somehow the humans she travelled around with convinced her that she wasn’t a person, that she had no feelings, that she’s basically a thing, and I can’t convince her of the contrary.”_

_“I’ll talk to her. I’ll take her to the sea, I think she’ll like it, you stay here with Donna.”_

_***_

She hadn’t seen the sea since she’d been on Caprica; actually she’d never seen the sea. She had memories of her father and mother taking her to the beach and playing with her, of going to the beach with friends, but those memories weren’t real, they’d never been real. But she remembered them with fondness, because for her, they had been real – she wonders if they were real, if those people in her memories had actually existed, before realizing it probably didn’t even matter. Still for some reason the Doctor has taken her to the sea and left Jack inside the Tardis and she realizes he probably wants him to talk to her, to make her understand she’s real, though she’s not sure how he’ll do this.

_“Jack told me you’re a Cylon.”_

_“I am, not human, that’s me.”_

_“That doesn’t mean anything, you know, not being human, it just means you’re different. Part of something else, part of something that’s just yours. There must be others like you.”_

_“Yes, they’re all scattered over the continents, living their lives, being happy. This is their new home.”_

_“What happened to your old home?”_

_“It was destroyed in a war.”_

_“So was mine.”_

_“Maybe I believe that, but I bet you weren’t on the side of the devil.”_

_“No, but I wasn’t on the side of angels, either. You know I’m not human, Boomer. I’m a time lord; I can see all of time and space. I may look like a human, but I’m not one. It doesn’t make me any less; it doesn’t make you any less, either.”_

_“You’re not human? Prove it.”_

He’d taken her hand and placed it on his chest, moving it from side to side so she could feel both of his hearts beating under her hand, under their hands. And she understood, he wasn’t human, he was, like her, something else, and for the first time since discovering the truth, she actually believed that she was something more than a machine.

Too bad it was too late; she needed to execute her plan.

****

 

He returned them back to Cardiff five months later, after taking them places Boomer had never imagined, and yet they still returned five minutes after having left. Time travel was still something she had to wrap her head around, but someday she would get it, probably when she was enacting her plan. She’d watched how Jack had convinced the doctor to fix his watch so he could at least travel a bit now and then; she’d taken it, pocketed.

Phase one was now complete.


	10. Chapter 9

_“There’s a space ship that has crashed right there.”_

_“How do you know?”_

_“Sharon Eight found it, didn’t want to go inside, since it reminded her of our base ships and it could be the evil Cylons I told you about. You know the Cavils. We should check it out. You definitely don’t want Cavil lose on Earth. Trust me.”_

Jack looked at her like he was trying to decipher her, attempting to figure out what exactly she was hiding or planning. It was on the tip of his tongue to say no, the last time he had been on one of those ships, his old friends had still been alive, but she looked at him with those pleading eyes and he could never say no to her, anyway.

It took them less than an hour to get to the ship, which he found rather odd, but he didn’t say anything.

_“So is it a base star?”_

_“I don’t know, maybe, it looks like one. It’s not the one the rebels used, because that one is damaged. But it could be another one; it doesn’t appear as though anyone is inside.”_

_“You think it’s empty?”_

_“Probably, maybe not empty, but the other Cylons will be asleep and you can’t just wake everybody up accidentally. One of us, like me, or two, like Sharon Eight, maybe, but definitely not three entire lines. It doesn’t work that way, it never has. So it should be empty, in the sense that nobody is awake. Trust me.”_

_At least,_ she thinks, _I hope not._

_“Of course I trust you. All right, guys, be careful, but there shouldn’t be anything too dangerous.”_

It cut her. It felt like her heart was being crushed, the knowledge that he trusted her and that she was about to crush that trust. But she had to do it, she couldn’t change the past, but she could alter it, return Athena’s daughter even if she couldn’t help Helo.She would give up Jack for the chance at being forgiven by those she had wronged, it had been far too long, and Hera… Hera was just a little girl without defenses.

_“I’m sorry, Jack, I hope you’ll understand someday.”_

****

The plan, which she and Sharon Eight had come up with, was quite simple. Get separated from the rest of the group, find a way to get to the console room and connect with the onboard computer, it will tell her where the base star had been last. Or, if that does not work, wake up the hybrid and _ask her._ She hoped plan A worked, because if she woke up the hybrid, she ran the chance of her attempting to jump away, ship and all – which, if it worked, which was doubtful, would have some nasty side effects.

What wasn’t part of the plan: the argument between Owen and Jack, the fact that she wasn’t last in line and thus couldn’t sneak out, and Tosh getting herself locked in one of the various areas of the ship. She’s not sure how it happened, nor how to help.  A part of her thinks she could probably help her, except that she doesn’t know _how._ She’d never been able to figure out all the nuisances of a base star, which was probably her own fault, since she had done her best not to remember the before and nobody had ever taken the time to explain it to her. Still, even if she had known, which she didn’t, there was nothing she could do anyway, and the base ship had been here so long that most of it was probably broken beyond repair. Tosh would be fine, at least from what she could remember about the floor plan of a base star. She backs up slowly, going into the other room, to the room where all the decisions had always been made, and she’d connected to the computer system to find out the last place they’d been. Maybe she had woken up the other Cylons, she’s not sure, but if she had, it had never been her intention. It had been her intention to leave and return, hopefully before Jack figured it out, and then tell him everything, but now she had to leave him surrounded by angry Cylons. He would be fine, but the others might not be, and if they aren’t, Jack will never forgive her.

But Hera had been just a small, defenseless child, screaming for her mommy as she stole her away, and Athena hadn’t actually done anything, and Helo had fallen to the ground almost dying. He’d barely survived, she remembers the joy she felt when she found out he’d lived though apparently he hadn’t woken up yet. She had to make that right, because it was more a part of her than anything else.

Sharon Eight was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

_“Help them, stop the Cylons.”_

_“How? I mean I could cut of the air supply ,but that would probably kill the team as well. How do I stop them without hurting them?”_

_“I don’t know, find a way, please. They cannot get hurt because I decided I needed to save Hera. I’ll be back soon.”_

She activated the watch and jumped back to where she’d been before.

***

When he analyzes the situation later – and he _will,_ because he refuses to believe that this is how it ends, for the others at least, after all nothing ends for him – there is only one thing he will be completely sure of. This is all _Owen’s_ fault. He’ll admit, if anyone asks, that it had been _his_ idea to come here – Boomer had looked at him with those loving eyes, pleading, and he could never say no to her – and it was Tosh who had gotten herself locked into that room, but in the end, no matter how you look at it, it was Owen who flipped _the wrong switch._

That moment, despite his loud protest that it wasn’t the right switch, leaves him really with only two options. Either Owen still doesn’t listen to him –considering what happened the last time, that isn’t a good thing at all – which is reminiscent of Isaac; or Owen simply cannot tell the difference between left and right, which isn’t particularly helpful either. His first thought had been to run, leave, regroup and com back later, _after_ they had figured out what exactly Owen had done.

They didn’t, they couldn’t, Tosh was still in that room, and Boomer seemed to have disappeared. Normally, the latter wouldn’t worry him; she had done it before after all, disappearing suddenly and then coming back when he needed her most. That was just Boomer. But this time was different, there had been something in her eyes, some emotion he couldn’t quite comprehend, it was like she wanted _something_ to happen, but he couldn’t figure out _what._

Since they were, at the moment, completely surrounded, none of that mattered, anyway. (He seemed to have something with problems and these damn ships.)

This right here had to be the strangest thing that ever happened to him – and with his immortality, his time as a time agent and his life with the Doctor, he had seen many strange things – and he wasn’t even sure _what_ was happening. The resurrection, which had brought Boomer back, had apparently gone on overdrive and started working again perfectly. Boomer had told him it hadn’t really worked in years, apart from that one time she had been brought back, but it seemed like Owen had found the right switch (or he had nothing to do with it and it was just a coincidence, though he didn’t believe in that).

Still, they were surrounded by what seemed to be the same three persons over and over again – three _naked_ persons, which he admits he might have found interesting and fun (he was Captain Jack Harkness after all), if they didn’t look so damn dangerous. He can’t quite figure out why it feels that way; they had no weapons, but something about these males was just menacing. He knew danger, had seen many different dangers, and knew that even the most innocent looking could be dangerous. He hoped Boomer had a plan, one she would execute quickly, since the others -  she once called them Cylons - keep advancing, and he realizes, suddenly, that there is no more room to back up.

He yells her name then, praying she’ll answer, but she doesn’t and he’s left with the realization that she might have known. And that all of this might have been part of her plan, though he refuses to really believe it; perhaps she’s working on an escape plan, perhaps she’s going to save them.

Perhaps he’d been wrong and Isaac had been right when they found her and he decided not to send her to Torchwood one.

***

She appeared just outside the room she had been in the first time she was here and for a moment, a second, she was tempted to rush in and warn Helo, tell herself how bad things would get and write a new future for them. But those few months with the Doctor, and all those years with Jack, had taught her that that was a really bad idea and the things that had happened should not be changed, no matter how much you want to. So she could do nothing, nothing but wait and try to ignore that her past self – this was going to give her a headache if she ever tried to explain it – was about to shoot her (their) best friend.

She watched as he fell and waited for the alarm to shatter the silence, but nothing came.

She was reminded of something the Doctor had once said, though most of what he said was at times not easy to follow, something about time not running linearly. From what she remembered about that conversation, certain things happened because somebody had gone back and made them happen – things, as he put it, didn’t happen in order, which explained several things. Which means, if she’s right, that she had always been here, that the reason the alarm went off was because she set it off, to save the man she had shot herself and save herself from being caught (or something like that). Past-Boomer rushed past her without really noticing – which was definitely a good thing; imagine having to explain that to yourself. She wants to go and help Helo, but she can’t, the others will be here soon and he will live (she knows, the discovery by Sharon Eight that Helo was in fact alive was the primary reason they had come up with this plan).

So she runs, though it pains her, and passes the lower deck without truly realizing.

_“I saw you run past the lower deck.”_

It had been a while ago that she realized that Sharon Eight had in fact seen her rushing past the lower deck, not just any Eight, but _her._ But she knew which road she had taken, and it had not been past there, mostly because the day care was the other way, and so she realized that it had been a different version of her, which meant that she would go back, whether she wanted to or not, and so she and Sharon Eight had started what became known as operation ‘Save Hera’. A part of her felt guilty, for leading Sharon Eight to her death, but she had been assured it was okay, and the way things _should go._

And there she went, into the raptor and gone, nobody paid attention to yet another Cylon running by.

The one they wanted had just gotten off the ship anyway.

***

 _The room was turning when she opened her eyes and it took a few seconds to remember_ how _she had gotten here, bound and unconscious in one of the many stalls of the bathroom. If the mutiny hadn’t happened, she would have been found sooner, but it had happened and there weren’t that many people left. It may have been hours after Boomer knocked her out, or perhaps just minutes, but it only took her a minute to realize she needed to get up after she remembered. Trying to stand seemed like a bad idea, leaving her with the conclusion that she must have some kind of concussion, as well as a broken arm, but she had to get up and find Hera. She realized, suddenly, the reason she had woken up: the alarm._

_It took her a few minutes to get loose, but when she did she used up all her strength crawling, for she could not walk, out of the bathroom._

_“Athena!”_

_And then Kara was beside her, trying to stop her, calming her down and trying to get her up while Apollo – or Lee she’s not sure what she’s supposed to call him now – was beside them in a flash. But she couldn’t stay, she had to find Helo – where was Helo? Why wasn’t he here? Was he perhaps with Hera?_

_“Helo…Hera…Boomer.”_

_“It’s okay, Athena, we’ll take you to Cottle.”_

_Something had happened, what, she was not sure of, but something had happened. Whatever it was Kara, couldn’t even look at her, which meant it couldn’t be good._

_“Kara. What happened?!”_

_“Boomer stole your colonial flight suit and was found by Helo. Somehow he saw through her scheme and she shot him.”_

_“Is he okay?”_

_“I don’t know, there was a lot of blood.”_

_“Hera, she took her didn’t she?”_

_“Yes, but my father is working on a rescue plan, it will be alright.”_

_Kara being nice to her was a strange phenomenon, but not completely new, she was after all, her husband’s best friend. But Apollo didn’t trust her, never had, and for him to be nice to her – any Cylon for that matter – well, it meant things were really, really bad. It also effectively shut her up for a few minutes. To this day, she still doesn’t know how she made it to the sick bay, but she did. She’d heard what had happened and she’d been proud of Helo even if he didn’t succeed. He told her he probably wouldn’t make it, but Helo had done impossible things before. He would make it; he had to, because she couldn’t lose them both. The last time she lost her daughter, Helo had been there, despite her not talking to him, and it had given her strength, even if she didn’t acknowledge it at the time._

_Cottle told her that if she talked to him he might understand her, so she did, memories and stories, all the while hoping that Adama would find Hera. But when he walked in a few hours later and just looked at her sadly, she knew she hadn’t been found._

_She doesn’t know what happened after that, or who came to visit._

****

Jumping to the base star that belonged to Cavil had proven far more difficult than jumping back in time. Probably because there was more than one base ship and they were, for all intent and purposes, the same. Which explains, at least she thinks it does, how she ended up on the base star belonging to her sisters. In the end, it took her a total of three jumps – she’s not sure if it’s actually called jumps, but it’s the only word she can think of – to get to Cavil’s ship. 

It was just like she remembered it, and from what she could make out, she’d landed a few days after her former self had brought Hera. The clothes the girl was wearing were different and they were already talking about starting an IV for food.  This, she remembers, is the last day of her former life, the last one she remembers. All she has to do now is wait for the right moment and take the child, make her way back to where she came from, and return Hera to her mother. Simple, at least in theory.

_“We should start the tests today, in an hour I think.”_

_“Don’t you think we should wait a while, until she’s got her strength back? I mean she hasn’t eaten in days.”_

_“Boomer, honey, she’ll be fine, the tests won’t kill her. Besides, if she had eaten we would have started the tests yesterday.”_

_“She wants her mother.”_

_“Well she can’t have her now can she?”_

It’s a strange thing, watching yourself have an argument that has already happened, watching as events unfold in front of you while knowing _how_ it all ends. Cavil stands and walks away and Past-Boomer follows him quickly, leaving only one of the fours, one of the Simons. Now was the time, she couldn’t wait longer, Cavil would come back and there was no telling if he would actually wait an hour. So she stood, silently making her way across the room.

“ _Boomer, didn’t you just leave.”_

_“Yes, I’m sorry, Simon.”_

_“For what?”_

_“This.”_

She used one of the syringes on the table next to her to stab him, she wasn’t sure what was in it, but it sure did the trick. Hera had stopped crying and was now staring at her intently, as if she recognized that _this_ Boomer had come to save her.

_“Okay, Hera, you have to be very quiet so that I can get you off this ship and take you to your mommy, okay?”_

_“Okay.”_

She lifts the child, the future of the Cylon race, and walks out. This is her redemption. 

More importantly, now she understands the end.

_She’d been feeling guilty about what she had done ever since Hera had smiled at her. The image of her father, her once best friend, as he fell to the ground was not easy to forget. She had been thinking of a way to help Hera, but so far had come up with nothing when one of the Simons, though not the one she had seen before, came to tell her Cavil wanted to see her._

_Hera was gone, that’s the first thing she noticed upon entering the room that was now known as the exam room, and for some reason everyone was angry at her._

_“Where is she?”_

_“What?”_

_“Boomer, don’t play games, what did you do with the child?”_

_“I didn’t do anything with her. I left with you.”_

_“And then you came back, you stuck me with a syringe and then you left with the girl.”_

_“No, I didn’t. I left and went to my room and that’s where I was when he came to get me. I didn’t take the child.”_

_“Don’t lie to me.”_

_“I’m not ly…”_

_He hadn’t even let her finish, hadn’t let her explain, he’d taken his gun and just shot her and she fell to the ground. There would be no resurrection for her at the end of the tunnel, she was completely lost now._

_She was free._


	11. Chapter 10

When they came up with the plan to save Hera, Boomer had elected not to tell Jack, whether this was because she was afraid of losing him or because she didn’t want him to get hurt, Sharon Eight had been unable to tell. Still, since Boomer was the one who had to jump through time and space, relying on a watch, of all things, she figured she had the right to decide. The waking of the Cavils, and the other not-rebel Cylons, had not been part of the plan and now she had to figure out a way to save Boomer’s…friends. (It’s not exactly the word she’s searching for, but it does the trick.)

First she had to get to Tosh. If she knew anything it was that the main reason they hadn’t run away yet was because they wouldn’t leave her behind. Still, crawling through a base ship, trying not to be spotted, is not exactly an easy, nor pleasant, task. (She could wake up the hybrid and see if she could do something, but they had been unsure of how she would react and, anyway, deciphering what the hybrid said had been an impossible difficult task when there were many of them; it would be completely impossible for her to accomplish this alone. )

In the end she made it, though it was not something she would want to do again.

“ _Tosh, this way.”_

_“Boomer?”_

_“No, I’m the other Sharon. Listen there’s no time to explain, but you’re never going to be able to open that door. And even if you could, at the other side there’s basically an army waiting to kill you. So we need to get out of here and find a way to help the others, and we need to do it now.”_

She turned then, not waiting for a response, and made her way back to where she came from. There was no time for arguing and though she knew that Tosh would do it anyway, this way at least she would follow her at the same time. Now all they needed to do was find a way to help the others.

_“Okay, we have to kill the aliens.”_

_“Cylons, they’re Cylons and they are not that easily killed.”_

_“There’s no way to use the ship?”_

_“There are many ways to use the ship, but we don’t know how long it’s been here and we don’t know why it’s here. It could have landed, in which case it will be easy to use it, but it could have crashed and been destroyed. There is no telling how it will react when it’s been harmed or hurt and waking up the hybrid is a bad idea.”_

_“It’s alive?”_

_“Something like that, it’s hard to explain, and it’s tied to the hybrid and she is alive. Look, there’s no time for this, I’ll try to explain it later.”_

_“There must be something.”_

_“There is, but you’re not going to like it.”_

_“Tell me.”_

_“There is a way to cut off the air supply, effectively killing the cylons. The problem is your team is still in there, so we need to find a way to get them out before we do that.”_

_“Oh is that all?”_

 

Tosh will think of something Sharon Eight knows she will, but it doesn’t mean it will be easy. This may have been Boomer’s way to redemption, but the way it was going, it seemed as if it was going to be the source of even more guilt.

 

***

 

_Sharon, Athena now, didn’t have a birthday. Among the many things he had to get used to, that was perhaps the strangest. Boomer had a birthday, fictional though it was, and he remembers celebrating it. He knows she remembers, too, but they try to avoid her Boomer memories, it’s confusing enough without them. He knows the difference between them, but trying to explain it, even to himself, gives him a headache._

_She didn’t have a birthday to celebrate and he didn’t like celebrating his, so they were left with Hera’s birthday. It was a daunting task, preparing for her second birthday, their first, because they’d only had her for a few months. Athena seemed especially invested, which was probably because she had memories of birthdays but had never actually planned one. He never figured out how the Admiral got his hands on a cake – though he thinks Zarek and the black market might have something to do with that. Still, he’s grateful – for that and the gifts which consist mostly of self-made gifts or any children’s books they could get their hands on, some written from memory._

_The image of his daughter squealing as she opened her gifts or trying to blow out the candles on her first birthday cake – and her last, at least for the foreseeable future, unless a miracle happened – was not something he would ever forget._

_***_

 

Jack had been in many seemingly hopeless situations, and so far only one had proven deadly, though another had gotten extremely close. But there was no Doctor and his Tardis that would come and save them, he had a way of contacting him, but there was not time – besides the last time he tried to call him, he’d said something about Pompeii and call you back in twenty minutes, which had turned into twenty hours. There was a way out of here, he knew there was one, and he just needed some time to think.

 

In the end, the answer was so simple it almost made him laugh. What they needed to do was distract the Cylons long enough so that the rest of his team could run. All he needed to do, as such, was die, die and then come back to life; even the craziest of aliens bent on destruction would stare at him for a few minutes before continuing. He hoped his team could figure it out, because there was not time to tell them what the plan was, exactly.

 

The shot shattered the silence, making everyone stare at the now-dead captain. Gwen realized at once what Jack was attempting to do, and upon the resurrection – at least, she assumes that’s what it is – of her immortal leader, screamed “Run!,” before running towards a shocked Tosh who had suddenly appeared in the doorway.

 

_“You guys alright? Where’s Jack?”_

_“He shot himself, Tosh, but he’s alive again, he’s probably right behind us.”_

_“Okay, we should turn off the air supply.”_

_“Jack might still be in there, Sharon.”_

_“Jack can’t die, but the others can. Trust me, you don’t want them lose. The last time Cavil was loose among humans, he attacked a planet, destroyed the twelve colonies ,and nuked everyone. Barely any humans survived that. You don’t want him to get another chance, because something tells me there aren’t that many other planets the surviving humans could go to.”_

She turned around and closed the doors and proceeded to switch off the air supply. She’d been a part of that plan, that world; she had helped in the destruction of the human race. It was not something she was proud of, but at the time, it had seemed like not only the right decision, but the only decision. It was something she had to live with, but these humans didn’t need to know that, she owed them no explanation. The other humans, the ones from Caprica, yes, those she owed one and if they asked, she would do her best to explain, but these had nothing to do with that fight.

 

And she needed to kill them before they did become a part of it. Even as simple collateral damage.

 

****

 

In his long life, he had died many ways, shooting seemed to be the most popular, but suffocating came a close second. Just because it has happened to him before, and will happen again, doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel it, in fact he feels everything. It’s a misconception most people make, and his team is no exception, they assume that because he comes back, the death doesn’t matter. But it does and it hurts, even worse is the coming back part, which may be why he prefers quick deaths as opposed to slow ones. There is, after all, no need to try and save him, he’ll come back anyway.

 

He’s sure there is a good reason for it, in fact he realizes it just before he dies: all the Cylons – he assumes that they are Cylons – are now dead, as well. But they will stay that way; at least he hopes they will.

***

 

She’d arrived on a street somewhere in London; though it hadn’t been her destination, it was close enough. A quick glance at a newspaper revealed it was just a few hours after her first jump, which made her kind of dizzy, and she made her way across the town, quickly. Hera had been separated from her parents long enough and it was time for a reunion. Nobody looked at her, nobody even noticed her, and for them she was just one of the many mothers walking with her child in her arms. Nobody would consider, not even for a second, that she was a kidnapper returning a child to her parents.

 

It was refreshing to be able to walk around and not fear death at every turn.

 

Getting into the hospital and finding out which room belonged to Helo proved easier than it really should have been. But, she figures, these humans don’t have any experience with Cylons. They thought she was Athena, which is logical in some ways, Athena is her, after all, and told her that her husband hadn’t been moved out of his room and then proceeded to tell her where he was now. Stupid, in some ways, because for all this woman knows, she was the one who tried to kill him, which she was, but _that_ is not the point. 

 

Perhaps that was the reason why the fall of the colonies was, in the end, so _easy._ Because humans, here or on Caprica, generally didn’t expect Cylons to look like them. The survivors of the original attack had expected more, but even they hadn’t been prepared for one of their own turning out to be one of them (not to mention the final five that suddenly showed up catching them _all_ including _them_ by surprise). None of them expected the Cylons to be so like them, so they were not prepared. Not that it matters, she’s not here to hurt them, she’s here to help this time.

 

And then she’s there, standing in the doorway, watching as Athena holds Helo’s hand. She’s takena back for a second at all the machines around him, at his state; Sharon Eight was right, he was alive, but this was not really a life. Now that she’s here, she doesn’t know what to do, they’d never really thought about it, it had seemed more prudent to figure all the time travelling out, then what to do when she stood in front of them and had to return their daughter. She could call out to her, but what would she say? Should she call her Sharon, a name that was once hers, or Athena, a name that would never be? Should she call her sister? Did she even have that right after everything she did?

 

She looked at Hera and decided that perhaps actions would speak more than words.

 

_“Go to mommy,Hera, honey, go on go.”_   
  


****

_“Do you remember Hera’s first night with us? We had no idea what to do and we were so scared of making her hate us. And she was scared, too, because she didn’t know us that well. And then you took out the raptor manual and started to read it to her and she went quiet instantly. I think that may be where her love of raptors was born.”_

She sat by his side, every day, all day, ever since they had arrived on this planet and even before that. She knew what Cottle said, she knew what the humans here said, the chances of him waking up were next to nothing. She knew that, but Helo had done many impossible things and she couldn’t give up, because if she did, there would be nothing left. All she had fought for, all she had earned would be gone, she couldn’t go back to the Cylons, she did not belong there anymore and she could not live with the humans; for most, she had never truly belonged (the mutiny proved that).

Without Helo and Hera, she had _nothing._

She bends forward and kisses his forehead before whispering in his ear:

” _Please, wake up, Karl, please, wake up. Come back to me.”_

Then there was a voice behind her, breaking the silence, her _own_ voice.

And there she was, Hera, her daughter, her angel. And she stood, faster than she probably should have, and knelt down as Hera ran into her arms. It had been a long few months since she had last seen her daughter and she was never going to let her go again. The question of how her daughter had made it back to her made her look up and stare at the figure standing in the doorway.

Boomer, once known as Sharon Valerii, the woman who had stolen her child, was now returning her.

She looked different, Athena could tell in the few seconds she spent looking at her, _older_ and _wiser._ She’s not sure what happened to her, nor how she got here, and she’s not sure what to say, either. A part of her thinks ‘ _Thank you’_ is probably the way to go, but Boomer had shot her husband and stolen her child in the first place. Just because she felt guilty now didn’t mean she deserved a thank you.  In the end, she says nothing, Boomer stands there for a few minutes and then turns and runs away. She knows she should tell somebody she was here, but Boomer had just returned her daughter to her and perhaps an escape is what she deserved.

“ _Hera, honey, are you alright? Did those bad people hurt you?”_

_“No. Where’s daddy?”_

_“Daddy’s right here, honey, he’s just a little sick right now.”_

She sat back down, still holding her daughter, determined not to let her go, not even for a second.

“ _Hera’s back, honey, she’s home. It’s time to wake up now so we can be a family again.”_

She’s holding Hera closer, kissing her cheeks and making her laugh when Helo’s hand finds her.

****

Her last jump was not as good as her other ones, though she counted herself lucky she hadn’t landed in another time period. Still, landing just outside the hub wasn’t _that_ bad, except, of course, that Jack and the team were under attack a _half hour away._  But she could make it, she had to steal a car – really what did it matter? – and drive faster than she should have. The base ship still looked the same and there were no free Cylons so she assumed that either Jack or Sharon Eight had managed to stop them. So she ran through the doors and the hallways until she reached the center room and there they were, all of them, arguing about something. Sharon Eight was the first to spot her and a smile broke out as she realized what it meant.

_“Boomer. You did it?”_

_“Yeah, everything’s alright now. You did it, too?”_

_“Everything’s going to be fine.”_

_“Did what exactly?”_

Jack’s voice turned her attention away from her sister and towards the man she loved, the man she had lied to and who had probably died in the last hour, she thinks it must have been an hour, because of her. She was ready for the anger, but there didn’t seem to be any, just disappointment, which was both better and worse at the same time.

 

He knew something had happened, something to do with his watch and Boomer, and she would tell him even if she didn’t want to. He didn’t care what she did, he had done many questionable things in his life, he just wanted to know why she had lied to him. He thought they were past that, thought he had finally found the one person who would respect him enough to always tell him the truth. Perhaps it wasn’t the place to talk about it; they were still on the space ship, after all, but they had won and nothing bad would happen, not anymore.

 

That thought was most likely the reason something did happen at that point.

She saw him first, out of the corner of her eye, coming from the left, gun in hand, determined to take at least one victim. Cavil, who had convinced her that she should betray her sisters, who had told her how to steal Hera, the one who killed her. If she had a gun she would shoot him now. Somewhere where it hurt the most, and in such a way that it would take him hours to die, secure in the knowledge he could never come back. Perhaps that was a bit vindictive and blood thirsty, but she was a Cylon and that was in her nature. Besides this one had it coming.

 

But she didn’t have a gun and she could only watch as he raised his, not towards her but towards her sister. She reacted faster than she thought she could have, reacted without thinking, really. Before she knew it, she was standing in front of Sharon Eight and she could feel the bullet as it penetrated her skin.

 

_She’d been here before; this had happened long ago, another shot, another death. That death had been deliberate and she had fallen backwards into the arms of the man Sharon Valerii – the human girl from Troy – had loved. In those final moments of her life, or at least what she thought were the final moments, she had whispered an I love you, because that seemed the most important._

 

This time, too, she fell backwards, though unlike last time, she could hear another shot being fired and knew that Cavil was dead now. Unlike last time, however the arms catching her did not belong to the man she loved, but to the sister she saved.

“ _Why? You could have just attacked him or let Jack save me.”_

_“I owed you; I owed you for what I did so long ago.”_

_“Sister…”_

_“Don’t go, stay here with me.”_

_“Boomer, hey, it’s going to be alright, we’ll get you to a doctor.”_

It was different, so different, the man she loves, a man that has never hated her, crouching by her side, telling her it would be alright. There had been no time for anything last time; perhaps the Chief, too, would have told her he loved her or something else. She wants to say something reassuring and worth remembering, but she can think of nothing, nothing worth saying.

 

“ _I’m sorry I lied to you.”_

_“No, it’s okay; we’ll talk about it later.”_

But she’s tired, been tired for so long, and perhaps sleep is the only thing left for her now.

 

 

 


	12. Epilogue

_“We should burn it down.”_

That’s what she, Sharon Eight, had said after they’d taken Boomer out of that place and to a hospital, after when they were all standing there staring at the ship.

 

“ _You know, to make sure nobody ever goes on it, make sure there are no bodies left for them to wake up in. Destroy them forever.”_

_“Owen, burn it down.”_

She hadn’t stayed long; she’d walked away after that. When she had accessed her sister’s memories so long ago, it had been in curiosity, and what she had found was the knowledge of true love.  That is what she had wanted to gain so many years ago and it was still what she wanted now. After all her years on Earth with Boomer, it was still the only thing she had never found. Boomer had, twice even. Though the way her sister explained it was that the human inside her had loved the Chief, but Sharon Valerii had died when Cally shot her, and Boomer had been nothing but a ghost of her former self.  

Perhaps another country would give her what she wanted.

She’d stayed only long enough to make sure her sister lived and then boarded a plane towards America. In search of new adventures, in search of a quiet life. She’d been sitting in a bar just outside her hotel for a while when he came in and sat down next to her. He’d smiled at her and ordered her a drink, how he had known what to order was a mystery and she had found herself smiling back.

“ _I’m Steven and who are you?”_

_“Nice to meet you, Steven. I’m Sharon.”_

And with the meeting of two hands, a new story starts.

***

He’d told her once, a long time ago, after he had killed her so she could get Hera ,that he had always known he couldn’t live without her. But he hadn’t wanted it to be proven to him, he wanted to pretend, and she hadn’t understood him then. Now she did, now that she had spent months sitting by his side, now she understood exactly how he felt. But Helo had known she would return, and Helo had known that their separation was temporary; Athena had not.

But all that was behind them now, now everything would be alright.

The doctor spoke of a miracle, and perhaps it was, but told them he would never be completely alright again. It would take time before he could walk out of the hospital, and even then he’d always have problems. Cottle told them later he would most definitely never be able to fly again, not that it mattered; she suspected that the entire crew of the Galactica never wanted to fly a raptor or viper again. But they were together, united again, and that was all they needed.

It was a little confusing though. Hera told them she had only been gone a few days, but she had been gone for months, but apart from that, there was nothing else. The Admiral and the Cylon representative had wanted to send somebody after Boomer, but Athena thought it was about time to let all of it go and just move on. Let Boomer live her life far from them; she had everything she needed.

He held them both in his arms and vowed to himself he would never lose them again.

****

She hadn’t died, which had taken her by surprise, but it had taken a while to recover. That had been new to her. She was, after all, a Cylon, and Cylons didn’t heal. Cylons died and were then resurrected, they had completely new bodies, and they didn’t need to heal. Jack had been there through her entire recovery, never breathing a word of what had happened until she had recovered. She’d told him everything, that had been a painful few hours, and he had just looked at her and said nothing.

But she had almost died and that enabled that he could forgive her easier, it would take time, sure, but they would eventually be fine. She stared at the city below her; why Jack had brought her here was beyond her, though she had to admit it was beautiful. It reminded her of Troy, actually, even though she had never actually been there, and somehow it had a calming effect.

She felt his arms around her and smiled.

_“Beautiful, isn’t it?”_

_“Yes.”_

She’d realized a while ago, lying in that hospital, that everything that had happened was just as much her fault as theirs. And that at the end of the day, after everything, it didn’t really matter anymore. This was their new lives, and they should embrace them, make the best of it and leave each other alone. Forgiveness from those she had called friends was what she had been searching for when she advocated New Caprica, but she realizes now that she didn’t just need their forgiveness, though it was still important.

In the end what she needed to do, above all, was forgive herself.

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Art of Forgiveness (CoverArt)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/492830) by [SusanMarieR](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SusanMarieR/pseuds/SusanMarieR)




End file.
